3 Signs Your Relationship is Over Before It Even Starts
Love is an elusive beast, hard to catch but even harder to keep. In a world where everything moves at the speed of a tweet, the notion of a lasting relationship may seem like a relic of a bygone era. Yet, some relationships seem doomed from the get-go, crumbling under the weight of inattention, indifference, and sometimes, an unfortunate surplus of pride. While it's tempting to blame fate or circumstance, there are often clear indicators that a relationship is on the rocks before it even takes its first breath. Let's examine three tell-tale signs your relationship was over before it really began.
1. Monologue Over Dialogue: The Solo Planner
Ah, planning—the bedrock of any functional relationship. It's not just about choosing the right Netflix series or deciding who gets the last slice of pizza. It's about joint decisions that symbolize a shared journey. If you find yourself making plans for the weekend, picking out restaurants, or even planning trips without considering your partner's opinion or presence, you're essentially sending out an SOS signal to your relationship.
By not including your partner in plans, you implicitly suggest that their input doesn't matter, making the relationship more of a solo expedition than a joint venture. This kind of unilateral decision-making can be as benign as choosing a film they hate or as serious as booking a one-person holiday to Bali. Either way, the message is clear: "This is my show, and you're just a guest appearance."
2. Ghosting Anticipation: The Surprise of Contact
Remember the thrill of the first text, the excitement of the first call? If those have been replaced by a feeling of surprise when your partner reaches out, it's not a good sign. Whether it's replying to their messages after an eternity or acting startled when they call, showing astonishment at their attempts to contact you gives off the impression that you expected them to vanish, à la Houdini.
In a way, your surprise might be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Anticipating a ghosting only reinforces the emotional barriers that prevent meaningful connections. So, if you find yourself startled by their attempt at communication, ask yourself why. More importantly, consider how it reflects on your emotional investment in the relationship. If you expected them to disappear, maybe you never really expected the relationship to last in the first place.
3. The Iceman Cometh: The Coolness Factor
Playing it cool is a time-honored tradition in the dating world. A bit of aloofness can add a dash of mystery and allure, but when cool turns into cold, you risk freezing your potential partner out of the picture altogether. If your calculated detachment has escalated into sheer indifference, you're essentially erecting an emotional iceberg between you and your partner—one that's difficult to navigate and even more difficult to melt.
Being overly aloof often sends the message that you're not invested in the relationship. The lack of warmth, the absence of enthusiasm, and the dearth of basic affection are not the traits of a person ready for a lasting relationship. They are, instead, the hallmarks of someone who is shielding themselves from emotional vulnerability at the expense of a potential connection.
So, there you have it—three signs your relationship was likely over before it even got off the ground. If you recognize these behaviors in yourself, it might be time for some introspection. Are you really prepared for the emotional investment that a meaningful relationship demands? The good news is, it's never too late to change course. Relationships are intricate dances, but sometimes all it takes to find your rhythm is a little self-awareness and the courage to make a change.