How many times have you seen one of your friends break up with a long-term partner only to find, the very next week, someone is absolutely wrong for them? It’s a break up phenomenon we call rebound dating.
The idea of rebound relationships is an instinct we develop because of the usual way we deal with getting hurt. We need comfort ASAP. It’s too painful so we need something that soothes us. It’s like we’re looking for a way to comfort ourselves after we’ve been hurt.
Three Reasons Why Rebound Dating Doesn’t work
It just seems natural to look for another romance right after a breakup. That’s emotional comfort food for you, but there are so many reasons why doing this is WRONG.
1. You’re in a Daze
Choosing a partner when your judgment is still cloudy usually does more harm than good. You can’t get over you ex fast enough so you want to find someone who reminds you of him, or who is nothing like him, so you can do this quickly and move on with your life. Obviously, your standards for choosing a new romance are questionable. They’re mostly centered around your ex, whether you admit it or not.
2. You End Up Using Someone
Because you’re in pain, you’d rather go for some other more “comfortable” emotion. Anything that lifts that burden from you will do, even if it’s someone who might be completely wrong for you. It’s not the other person who matters anymore, but what he or she can do to help you deal with the pain. Using someone as an analgesic seems fine, until you’re done using that person and guilt sets in.
A rebound relationship is not going to help much if you’re still a mess, or if you still have not dealt with your pain on your own.
What I’d do after a break up, or after I finally accept that there’s no hope for the relationship anymore, is to go to the parlor and get a makeover.
Or, I would simply cry it out.
I know it sounds pathetic but I still think it’s a lot better than using someone to ease the pain (even if that person is more than willing to provide the “service”). Be fair to yourself and the other person.