There’s a special kind of exhaustion that comes from loving someone who feels like home one day and a demolition site the next.
It’s not that you don’t care. You care so much you’ve practically turned your ribcage into a revolving door for their moods. And somehow, you’re always the one sweeping up the broken glass after their storms.
If you’ve ever caught yourself lying awake at 3 a.m., replaying the day’s arguments in your head like an unpaid court stenographer, this is for you. Here’s how to stop letting your relationship chew through your sanity.
1. Stop Treating Their Mood Swings Like Breaking News
Every sigh, every pause, every “We need to talk” — you absorb it like it’s a cosmic announcement of your worth. But their bad day isn’t always your fault, and it’s definitely not always your job to fix.
How to do it:
When they come home radiating storm clouds, don’t immediately set yourself on fire to light their way. Step back. Breathe. Let them own their weather without you becoming the umbrella.
2. Build an Emotional Firewall
Right now, your feelings are wired directly into theirs, like your heart is on the same circuit. One spark from them, and you’re in flames. You need an emotional firewall — not to shut them out, but to stop the constant short-circuiting.
How to do it:
Picture yourself surrounded by a wall, soft on the inside, unshakable on the outside. It lets in love and warmth, but filters out the unnecessary voltage. You can love them without letting every sigh, text delay, or vague comment fry your circuits.
3. Reevaluate Your Emotional Guest List
Love shouldn’t feel like you’re paying rent for space in someone’s chaos. If your partner leaves you feeling more drained than fulfilled most days, you need to decide how much access they get to the deepest parts of you.
How to do it:
Pay attention to patterns. Are they adding more joy than they’re taking? If not, scale back your emotional investment before you’re running on fumes. Love is not a charity, and your heart is not a halfway house for unresolved trauma.
A relationship should be a shared shelter, not a battlefield where you’re the only one patching the walls. You can still love someone while protecting your own peace. In fact, if you want the love to survive, you have to.
You are not a 24/7 emotional gas station.
Turn off the pumps when you’re running dry.
Looking for direction in the chaos? Finding My Purpose: A Soul Searching Workbook by Ruby Galvez is your gentle yet powerful companion on the path to clarity. Through reflective exercises, thought-provoking prompts, and practical steps, it helps you honor your past, uncover your deepest desires, and design a life aligned with your true self. If you’re ready to move from confusion to confidence, this workbook is for you.
Check it out on Amazon. Finding My Purpose: A Soul Searching Workbook: Galvez, Ruby: Amazon.com: Books
