I didn’t know what to call it before. I just knew I had this recurring pattern—where I’d slowly, methodically, and almost politely start backing out of whatever messy half-thing I’d gotten myself into. Now, thanks to workplace jargon leaking into real life, I’ve found the term: quiet quitting. And I’ve been doing it in situationships for years.
You know the type. The almost-relationship. The “we’re just seeing where this goes” connection that somehow always goes in circles. No real commitment, but just enough emotional investment to keep you checking your phone, interpreting text tone, and editing your feelings for readability.
At first, I’d give it my best—showing up emotionally, being the understanding one, listening more than I spoke. I’d make space in my life. I’d lower expectations out of politeness. I’d convince myself that emotional crumbs were a kind of affection. But then, inevitably, something in me would shift. Slowly. Quietly.
I’d stop initiating. My replies would become… efficient. I wouldn’t ask how his day went. I wouldn’t laugh at jokes that weren’t funny. I stopped explaining myself. I stopped waiting for him to notice I was trying. And honestly, it was glorious.
I didn’t ghost. I didn’t rage-quit. I just quietly… left. I was still there technically, but my heart had clocked out. Like a tired employee on a Friday afternoon, I was doing the bare minimum—showing up so it wouldn’t look like I’d quit, but emotionally, I was already in my slippers, watching reruns of my dignity.
Some people say this is cold. But tell me, is it colder than dragging someone into another “what are we” conversation just to hear, again, that they’re not ready? Is it colder than hoping someone will change when they’ve shown you, very clearly, that they won’t?
Quiet quitting a situationship isn’t cowardly. It’s what happens when you finally realize you don’t need to over-function to keep a barely functioning connection alive. It’s choosing yourself, not with fireworks or ultimatums, but with a whisper and a gentle disengagement.
So yes, I’m a quiet quitter. Not because I’m passive—but because I’m done performing for affection that always asks me to do too much for too little. The exit may be silent, but the peace afterward? Loud and clear.
