Some bad advice comes in the form of clichés. Others masquerade as romantic ideals. And then there is this poisonous little gem: If they really love you, they’ll just know what you need.
On paper, it sounds dreamy—like the universe will deliver you a soulmate who understands your every whim before you even think it. In reality, it is a recipe for slow-motion sabotage. Because here is the shocking truth: your partner is not psychic. They are just another flawed human who sometimes forgets what day it is, let alone that you prefer your coffee with oat milk. Expecting them to magically anticipate your every need is not romantic. It is unrealistic.
This bad advice encourages three destructive habits:
- Staying silent. You convince yourself that asking for what you need somehow “cheapens” it, so you keep quiet. If they really cared, they would just know, right? Wrong.
- Setting invisible tests. You invent scenarios where your partner is supposed to prove their love by guessing your needs. They do not know they are being tested, of course, which makes their failure inevitable.
- Feeding resentment. Every time they do not “just know,” you interpret it as a lack of love, rather than what it actually is: the limitations of a non-telepathic human being.
Here is the problem: love is not telepathy. Love is communication. It is saying, “I need a hug today” or “Please don’t borrow my favorite mug, it is sacred.” It is expressing your needs clearly and trusting that the other person values you enough to respond. Real intimacy is not about guessing games; it is about honesty without fear of judgment.
So please, stop waiting for your partner to read your mind like a fortune-teller gazing into a crystal ball. Put the invisible quizzes to rest. Ask for what you want. Say what you need. Yes, it might feel less dramatic than the cinematic fantasy of being “truly known,” but it is far more practical—and far less likely to implode your relationship.
In short: don’t test your partner’s psychic powers. They do not have any. And neither do you.
