You open Instagram. There they are again: the soft-lit selfies of happy couples holding hands in cafés you can’t afford, kissing on beaches you can’t get to, captioned with quotes about “finding your forever.” You scroll faster, but it’s everywhere. Apparently, everyone is madly in love except you.
Maybe you’ve just been dumped. Maybe you’ve been single so long you’re not sure if you even remember how to flirt. Either way, the temptation is to spiral into the comparison pit — that dark little place where you measure your worth by the curated lives of people you haven’t spoken to since high school.
Before you spiral too far, here are nine questions to drag you back to yourself. Consider this a guide for those moments when the internet’s love parade makes you feel like the sad trombone in the back.
1. What Does Unconditional Self-Love Mean to Me When No One Else Is Loving Me Right Now?
It’s easy to love yourself when someone else is also doing it. The real test? Loving yourself when you feel invisible. Unconditional self-love means you don’t wait for someone else’s approval to treat yourself kindly — even if your Friday night plans involve ice cream and not much else.
2. How Does This Scroll Session Actually Make Me Feel?
Be honest. After seeing their vacation proposal video, do you feel inspired… or vaguely nauseous?
Pausing to check in with your emotions keeps you from mindlessly absorbing other people’s highlights and assuming they represent the full truth. (Spoiler: they don’t.)
3. What Do I Need Right Now to Be at Peace with Myself?
When envy starts to sting, your instinct might be to keep scrolling like you’re pressing a bruise to “check if it still hurts.” Instead, ask: What would calm me right now? A walk, a call with a friend, or maybe just logging off for the day.
4. What Am I Actually Working Towards?
If you say “a relationship,” that’s fine — but think deeper. Are you aiming for love in general, or the right kind of love? Clarity will save you from romantic desperation disguised as “openness.”
5. What Activities Bring Me Joy When Love Isn’t On the Menu?
The happiest people aren’t the ones with the best partners — they’re the ones with a life that still feels full when they’re alone. Identify what lights you up that has nothing to do with dating. Then do it often enough that you forget to check who’s posting anniversary photos.
6. How Can I Practice Self-Care Before I Burn Out on Self-Pity?
Self-care isn’t just bubble baths. It’s feeding yourself well, sleeping enough, and not stalking your ex’s new partner’s LinkedIn at 2 a.m. Build habits that keep you steady, so you don’t collapse into your next relationship out of sheer exhaustion.
7. What Does Daily Self-Love Look Like for Me Right Now?
For some, it’s cooking a meal just for themselves. For others, it’s unfollowing every couple account that makes them feel like an extra in someone else’s romcom. Decide what your daily proof of love for yourself looks like — and actually do it.
8. How Can I Put My Needs Ahead of the Urge to “Keep Up”?
Maybe you’re tempted to post something — anything — that makes you look less alone. Resist. Putting your needs first might mean staying silent online and focusing instead on building a life offline that feels worth posting about later.
9. How Can I Forgive Myself for the Relationships That Didn’t Last?
Stop treating every breakup as a personal failure. Love ends. People change. Sometimes the best thing you can do is say, “That was then, this is now,” and let yourself be free from the reruns of what could have been.
It’s fine to want love. But it’s a problem when wanting it makes you resent the life you already have. Social media will always be there, showing you its filtered love stories. You don’t have to mute every couple in your feed — just remember, your worth isn’t measured in matching couple shirts or anniversary hashtags.
Your love story can start with you. And honestly? That’s the only one you can guarantee will last.
Looking for direction in the chaos? Finding My Purpose: A Soul Searching Workbook by Ruby Galvez is your gentle yet powerful companion on the path to clarity. Through reflective exercises, thought-provoking prompts, and practical steps, it helps you honor your past, uncover your deepest desires, and design a life aligned with your true self. If you’re ready to move from confusion to confidence, this workbook is for you.
Check it out on Amazon. https://www.amazon.com/Finding-My-Purpose-Searching-Workbook/dp/B0D3LX41GP/
