There’s a painful truth many don’t want to hear: If you’re always waiting, you’re not building a future. You’re being stalled.
It starts with love. Then comes sacrifice. You say yes to supporting his studies, covering the bills, cheering him on while he “figures things out.” You believe in his dreams. You plan your life together. But then, the months turn into years. He still doesn’t have a stable job. Still no ring. And yet—he always has an excuse. “Next year.” “After this exam.” “When things settle down.”
You keep waiting. You wait while your friends get engaged. You wait while your younger cousin walks down the aisle. You smile at baby showers and pretend it doesn’t sting when people ask, “When is it your turn?”
You wait through birthdays, anniversaries, holidays—telling yourself, “Maybe this year he’ll finally see how much I’ve done for him.” You quiet the ache every time he shrugs off the conversation. You rewrite his promises in your head to make them sound more convincing. You defend him when others raise their eyebrows. You tell yourself, “He’s just struggling. He’ll change. I just have to hold on a bit longer.”
But how long is long enough? How many sacrifices do you make before you realize you’re the only one making them?
Waiting becomes your lifestyle. Hope becomes your only strategy. And slowly, you begin to lose the version of yourself who once dreamed without delay.
Let’s get honest. Some people never intend to follow through. They just need someone to hold them up while they sit comfortably in indecision. And if you’re the one investing—emotionally, financially, mentally—while he’s coasting on “someday,” it’s time to ask: What are you actually waiting for?
A promise with no action is not love. It’s a leash.
You are not selfish for wanting clarity. You’re not “pressuring” him if you ask for plans after years of sacrifice. You are not wrong for wanting marriage—but you will be wrong for continuing to wait without boundaries.
If he wanted to, he would have. Maybe he does love you in his own way—but love without commitment is just comfort. And comfort without effort becomes entitlement.
Stop hoping next year will be the year. Ask yourself: Is this relationship still growing—or are you just too tired to leave?
You deserve someone who wants to build with you, not someone who lets you build while they nap.
