Surviving a Break Up – How to Strengthen Your Resolve
By · CommentsBreaking Up is Like Handing in Your Resignation Letter…
If you’re in the middle of a break up or if you’re thinking of breaking up with your partner, this article is for you. With this post, I hope I can help convince you that your feelings right now are NORMAL… that it’s not the end of the world (although it feels that way) … hang in there and last a year, THEN, talk about how you survived your break up.
End of June Last Year, I Quit My Job
I can’t believe that at this same date last year, I quit my relatively lucrative job in an outsourcing company because of stress (and because the blogs have finally shown profit), and a number of other things that I won’t mention here. The thing is, I’ve had it. It’s not worth the effort anymore…. and I was staying for the wrong reasons (I didn’t want to lose touch with my immediate superior and team mates, it’s my first real job so I was sentimental, I need the cash, etc.).
The fact is, if you’re not motivated anymore you’ll feel very tired even with the least amount of stress. And, that’s how it was when I finally decided to leave. Before sending my resignation letter, I was stressed and lonely, and miserable… but I was so scared of quitting because of FEAR.
It felt like there’s an angel with horns on my shoulder telling me that…
- I could be making a huge mistake and I could end up regretting it.
- I might never find something like it again.
- Maybe it’s just me? (i.e. the hardships are just inside my head and I just didn’t have the proper mind set to continue)
I’ve been there for 8 years so ending it was painful… to say the least. The funny thing is that all throughout my resignation, I kept feeling the same emotions that one would normally feel during a break up.
It’s Like Breaking Up!
- You’re losing something that has been with you for the longest time. You know you should be excited at the chance to find a new life, but right now, all you know is that you feel EMPTY.
- You share your experience with people, telling them your reasons… and secretly wishing they’d convince you that you’re doing the RIGHT thing.
- You’re this close –>| |<— to just going with the flow (again) and not pushing through with the break up.
- Every time you think about your past relationship, you feel a big fat thump inside your heart like it’s going to break anytime now.
Here’s What You Need to Do — Be Steadfast and Stick to Your Decisions
It’s not the memory of the love you had, but the LONGING for your past happiness that’s making you miserable. There’s a big difference. The memory is in the past, but missing your life back then is in the present, and you can’t ignore it… BUT you also cannot let that feeling weaken your resolve.
You know what else could weaken your resolve? Bitterness.
If you keep hating your ex, and you can’t forgive yourself for being so weak and/or so giving … you’re subconsciously increasing that feeling of longing… and you end up mistaking it for Love.If you stay bitter, you not only trick yourself into thinking you’re wrong for ending it, you also make yourself vulnerable to slipping back to the same routine (fighting, blaming… and eventually, giving up).
Look at the Bright Side
Say “at least I’ll have more time for myself, to spend with friends, my music, my art, my hobbies… etc.” at least once a day. It’s not much but it’s going to give you a direction (at least for that day). Do this daily for a year and you’ll soon find out that you SURVIVED!
If you like a girl the first time you see her, your first instinct is to approach her, shower her with compliments and make her feel special by buying stuff for her. Before you do any more damage… stop right there and listen up. First of all, making a girl feel that you’re so into her that you can’t stop talking or fidgeting will only make her think of you as a creep.
You see, gorgeous women have been rejecting creepy guys for a long time and if you act this way around her, she will see you as target practice.
These attractive women are fed up with guys who try to appeal to their sense of gratitude or mercy, so if you can present a challenge to the girl you want to date through your body language and conversation, you can get her attention (and consequently, her affection).
Important note: If you’re serious about improving the way you flirt with women, check out this Flirting Manual written by my friend, Steve Scott.
Here are some tips on how to get a girl you like to like you back.
1. Be Mysterious
A girl can feel your vibe as soon as you approach, and she will probably feel that you’re into her, but she won’t know for sure unless you say it out loud.
The fact that you approached her first means you want to start a conversation with her, and this triggers an alarm inside her brain that says ‘oh no, not another bonehead who will talk about anything to get my number’.
Because you know this preconceived notion of hers, you must act different from the other men in the vicinity. For starters, you can introduce yourself, shake her hand and then talk about anything you want that doesn’t amount to ‘may I have your number’.
If she can’t “read” your intentions based on your initial conversation with her, she will drop her guard and enjoy the conversation instead of thinking up ways to reject you.
2. Turn Small Talk into a Seduction Tool
The fact is, what you talk to a girl about doesn’t matter. Your tone, your behavior and how you make her feel while you’re in conversation are the things you must focus on. Once you get a girl talking, and while you’re listening attentively and asking her questions, you can touch her in a platonic way.
The objective is to make her feel your presence in a physical manner.
For instance, you can inch closer as you’re talking or you can place your hand on hers for a while. Making her feel the warmth of your touch for a few seconds will make her feel more connected with you.
3. Tease Her
Once you move from small talk to banter, you can increase her awareness of your presence by teasing her. You can start by saying ‘oh c’mon’ when she says something flippant. Teasing is a subtle method for slightly pushing a woman away, to make her want to talk to you more.
If you’re still wondering how to get a girl you like to start thinking of you and only you all evening, you can use these three tips as soon as the weekend rolls in. Remember, all these tips are meant to be practiced, and you must keep your seduction game updated to really be successful with women.
Here’s a book that will help you do just that Flirting Manual written by my friend, Steve Scott.
Advice for Couples – Do Not Fight During Meal Time
By · CommentsFirst of all, this is not an etiquette post. I mean, yes I know that every mealtime should be a celebration or a feast and food should not at all be disrespected because it’s something sacred… but BESIDES THAT…
Couples should not fight during mealtime because:
- Everything, even the smallest issue, gets blown up when you fight without proper nourishment.
- Tension causes tummy ache and you have to deal with *that feeling* while you’re exchanging words (so you have to deal with physical pain on top of the emotional pain you’re already experiencing).
- You’d look really annoyingly fugly when you munch with tears running down your face (seriously). Worse, you might tense up, bite your spoon and hurt yourself.
The reason I brought this up is because I saw this again first hand while I, Libra Guy and our son were on our way to dinner (in celebration of Father’s Day… we didn’t want to mingle with the crowd on the actual date).
I noticed at once how a couple nearby met for dinner, got into a fight and started bickering quietly. Of course, their body language showed how they couldn’t bear to eat with each other so they left soon without touching the food.
It’s a sad sight, but on the other hand…. What if dinner time is all you have?
I know couples arrange to “meet for dinner” whether or not they’re going to be discussing issues. It’s almost a given… have dinner together and spend the small amount of time you can spare after work discussing things while celebrating the bounty of life nicely prepared inside small serving dishes.
But you know what… I think dinner together when there are ill feelings between the two of you is a BAD idea.
This situation forces you to face someone you don’t want to talk to . You have that nagging feeling that there’s just something so wrong with eating dinner together when you’re not at all comfortable with the vibe between you and your partner.
And, most of all, everything on the table will taste like cardboard because your mind will be too busy thinking of your situation and will be unable to comprehend what ‘delicious expensive food’ means exactly.
So here it is… If you and your significant other are hostile at the moment…
1. Grab a protein bar before your battle or date so you can skip dinner completely. If you’re feeling generous, grab another one for your partner (as a peace offering)
2. Agree to be absolutely pleasant during dinner and for an hour after dinner, before you start discussing things. Think of dinner as your “small talk moment” when you discuss everything but your issues.
With any luck, you will soon be dining together happily and your issues will get settled without trying too hard to fix things. Believe me — there’s nothing that a sweet romantic dinner and a playful footsie under the table won’t cure.
Advice for Heartbroken Lovefools – Letting Go
By · CommentsWhen can you be called a Heartbroken Lovefool? Find out if you’ve been a fool for love by honestly answering the following questions.
When your relationship ended, did you…
- make your ex’s life a living hell by pestering him or her all the time?
- convince your friends to join your ‘campaign’ and help you get your ex back?
- drink to forget, then ended up calling your ex anyway (just because ‘you didn’t know what you were doing’)?
- drink to force your ex to feel guilty?
- beg?
I know the feeling. I’ve been in one of these ruts at one point and it sucks.
The thing is, you will only realize you’ve been a ‘lovefool’ after you get over the person completely. While you’re in the throes of this so-called foolishness, your perception of the things you do to get your ex back is compromised.
What you’re really doing is prolonging the inevitable… You do these things because you’re secretly convinced that as long as you’re doing something to get your ex back, you’re keeping yourself from bursting. Yes, keeping this up is for YOUR SAKE not for the sake of your relationship.
If you really want to increase the likelihood of your ex coming back to you, you have to learn how to let go.
You have to understand why people run away from messy situations. They just want some peace and quiet; or they just want to recuperate from emotional turmoil. Making your ex feel that he or she will have to endure this drama for a long time in your company will only make the need for some peace and quiet stronger.
If you let go… if you respect your ex’s decision to break up, you’re giving yourself the breathing room you need. Moreover, you’re giving your ex the chance to see your relationship in retrospect.
Letting go bespeaks maturity and emotional stability.
If you can be brave enough to face the future without your partner, you will become more attractive to your ex. It’s not about giving up, it’s about proving to yourself that you are way above the self destructive ditch, and you value yourself more than your pride.
Here’s the secret to getting your ex back for good. Make him or her want to come back without prodding. And, this will only happen if your ex sees something that’s worth coming back to.
How to Date an Amateur Videographer
By · CommentsRight now, everyone has a cam phone, and no one’s afraid to use the cam indiscriminately. Facebook photo albums are filled with self-taken photos and videos of winking eyes and pursing lips…
Have you seen the way guys and gals take photos of themselves while walking? They no longer need to ask people how they look in this or that outfit, they simply whip out their cams, and take videos of themselves. You get the idea. Vanity is this generation’s middle name and technology is struggling to keep up with the trend.
Girls, if you’re dating an amateur videographer, how will you handle his propensity for documenting your date activities a.k.a… “immortalizing the moments in film”?
Here are two ways:
1. Project like you’re a fashion model yourself!
If you don’t feel like making a big deal of the whole thing , play his game. Make your movements more fluid … Stand in front of the fan or anywhere there’s WIND, while you’re talking to him so that your hair looks like it’s flowing behind you.
Don’t act natural, don’t act demure… just pretend you’re some Super model on a photo shoot or on a catwalk and give your best performance! You can even turn on the speakers and lip sync to your favorite pussycat dolls track.
2. Wear shades
What if you’re having a bad hair day and you can’t stand your boyfriend’s cutesie requests? This is my personal favorite way to dissuade a camphone-wielding boyfriend.
Wear dark colored glasses to your date, even at night. Get the big ones that cover your whole eye area and half of your cheek. Keep those on wherever he takes you… This way, you can say ‘oh that wasn’t me’ when he shows you his video coverage of your date later on.
Heh.
Advertiser plug: If, however, you manage to capture stunning videos, let the pros take care of post-production or more stylized effects. Learn more from Corporate Video.
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