Being judgmental is one of the things that may be keeping you from really connecting with your partner. I know because I’ve been judged and have also done my own share of judging in the past. Being judgmental can keep you from seeing the big picture, which includes spending the rest of your life with your love, and accepting him or her completely.
Here are some of the things we can do to stop this negative attitude.
Stop Putting Your Partner in a Labelled Box
Your partner has revealed everything that happened to him or her in the past, which makes it easy to put him or her in a neat little box with a label. These labels may include “jerk”, “playboy/playgirl”, “gambling problem”, “immoral” and other labels that change how you see your partner. Not everything is in black and white, and what applies to other people may not apply to your partner. The people you knew belonged to a certain category may also have been unrightfully judged, but you cannot do anything about that because that’s just the way you think.
However, make an exception for your partner and truly understand that he or she may have made some mistakes in the past to warrant that judgment, but past mistakes don’t define who he or she is.
After all, each of use has a unique way of dealing with our problems and have done many things that may seem rash and immoral to others.
Give your partner a chance to change.
Giving your partner the opportunity to change for the better is the “action” part of your goal to become less judgmental and more accepting of your partner’s personality. This is extremely difficult if you’ve already decided that you know what your partner is and what he or she is capable of doing. But your partner may prove you wrong, and you should open your mind to the possibility that he or she may act in a manner that is different from what you expect.