Is Valentines Overrated?
By · CommentsHey, I’ve been on hiatus from blogging on evilwoobie and before I knew it, the V-day is upon us again! So, here’s a question for you…
“Are You Valentines-Phobic?”
If you’re single… Do you cringe at the thought of going to ordinary places and discovering that these have been inundated by heart-shaped cut-outs and couples making out? Are you gritting your teeth at the thought of every single room in hotels being booked because everyone else seems to be planning on getting some?
If you’re in a relationship… Are you dreading the guilt that comes with the thought that you’re being a bad boyfriend (or girlfriend) because you REALLY don’t feel like celebrating Valentines day along with everyone else? Are you worried that your gift won’t be well received (if you’ve prepared one at all?)
If your answer to the above questions is YES, then you must be Valentines-phobic.
Now, I didn’t write this post to point out that Valentines is the Superbowl of Romance or to change your mind about this day… Let me share with you the best way to endure this 24-hour lunacy.
Take this your opportunity to act cheesy.
If you’ve been acting cool and composed the whole year, take the chance to do something out of character. Buy a bundle of heart-shaped erasers (or red roses) and give them to your officemates or classmates.
It will probably come as a shock to some, but the thing is, you can go back to being your old insensitive, cold self the next day!
If you feel embarrassed about being romantic most of the time, Valentines is the ONLY day that you can get away with it (and be praised for it). Besides, no matter how cheesy you act, you’re SURE that someone else is doing something cheesier.
Are you the type that won’t back down when dared? Then, it’s a dare. Act romantic. Act cute. Be free from the “I hate Valentines” mindset!
The day after Valentines, girls and guys (well, girls mostly) all over the world will still be talking about what they got, where they went, what they did, who got more flowers from her boyfriend, who brought his girl to a fancier restaurant… it’s like a competition, right? So, where’s your fighting spirit?
But remember… Your goal is NOT to out-romance anyone else, it’s to out-romance yourself.
By the way… remember I said “I didn’t write this post to change your mind about Valentines day”?
I lied. (^_^)
Have a super-mushy, ultra-sweet, hot-and-spicy Valentines Day!
Dealing With Changes: The Secret to Real Compatibility
By · CommentsMost people think searching for the most compatible partner is the key to having a successful relationship. I had this mindset for a long time, which probably contributed a lot to my “player” attitude. I would base what you would call compatibility on a lot of factors like common interests, status, level of maturity etc.
While embracing this frame of mind isn’t bad at all (everyone has to have a baseline, a standard that they refer to when searching for “the one”)… I realize now that REAL, long-term compatibility needs more than a few similarities and great rapport initially. In fact, if we’re going to be technical about it, we can say that real, long-term compatibility might not even exit. At all.
The reason I think so is this… people grow.
We evolve and we develop, whether we’re inside the relationship or not. And the couples who can’t deal with these CHANGES in each other end up thinking they’re “incompatible”, or that they made the wrong choice. How many times have you thought “this isn’t the guy I fell in love with” or “you’re like a stranger to me” when thinking of your partner (during a fight, or while you’re feeling emotional)?
It’s easy to say that your partner might have kept his true self hidden all the while, which will result to your feeling betrayed whenever you see traits or characteristics that he hasn’t shown in the past. But, it could also be that those traits were developed, or may have even resulted from the kind of environment he has been exposed to during the time you were together and elsewhere (in his workplace etc.). Regardless of where these “strange” behavior came from, you have to adjust to whatever changes… and embrace your OWN changes.
So who’s going to compromise more? Should it ALWAYS be you? Nope. It should be a joint effort. As long as you both understand that real compatibility is all about dealing with changes in personality and lifestyle, you should be ok.
Think of it as “tandem swimming” (or swimming with your hands linked together)… you either keep each other afloat or moving forward by working together to be really COMPATIBLE, or you pull each other down with your REFUSAL to be compatible. That is, your refusal to accept that your partner (and you) can “change” at any point in your relationship.
Kissing Games to Try With Your Sweetheart
By · CommentsIt’s make out season once again! Whether it’s a leftover mistletoe tacked to the wall or a cozy love seat on Valentines, there’s always an excuse to kiss during the cold season. Without a doubt, the next months are going to be hot for all couples out there. Want to crank up the sexual tension and light emotional firecrackers during New Years eve? Here are some kissing games you can try with your sweetheart…
But before we get to the kissing games, let’s discuss why a kiss is such a big deal. First of all,it’s very intimate. It’s more intimate than sex. Secondly, it’s more personal than simply saying “I love you”.
In fact, if we have to place a kiss’ role in your relationship, it’s the salve the cures a heartache, the exclamation point that punctuates a sweet conversation, and the best way to make up… but only if the kiss is good! Make no mistake of it, a kiss can either make a person feel special or send him directly to the moon!
If I seem to by hyping it up, please bear with me… I just did some serious kissing tonight. Is it obvious?
If you want something more than the usual open-mouth, face sucking, tongue war, here are some kissing games you can try with your significant other…
1. “Sleeping Beauty”
This kissing game is a good way to increase sexual tension. The rule: one partner takes while the other gives. You can take turns until one partner can’t stand the tension and forgets you’re playing a game completely.
How to win in this game? Keep your control while you’re acting as the recipient and then demand payback by being extra passionate when it’s your turn to kiss.
2. Who Can Steal the Most Number of Kisses
This kissing game is perfect for the third or fourth dates, provided you had your first kiss during your second. The rule: each tries to kiss the other several times and then tally the score after the date. The winner can demand anything. It’s like a bet with your partner, with a nice, sensual twist.
How to win in this game? Always position yourself in such a way that you can lean in and go for a kiss at anytime. For instance, stand in front of your partner instead of behind him. Or, lean closer (unobtrusively) by resting your head on his shoulder during the movie. I’m sure you can think of more tricks to win.
3. Chocolate Kisses
Get a bar of chocolate and share it with your partner by holding it with your lips. The rule: the one who can keep eating the chocolate and not get tempted to kiss wins. If it’s not chocolate, it can be a strawberry or a slice of apple. This game is perfect for lazy afternoons or lunch break dates.
I’m sure you can figure out on your own that these games are just to keep the kissing sessions more exciting, but if you’re the competitive sort (like me), I know you want to win all the time. So, keep playing.
Getting Dumped and Being a Good Sport About It
By · CommentsI grew up listening to a coach lecturing me daily about sportsmanship, yet I still find myself wondering how I can go from saying “give it your all” over and over inside my head, to saying “hey, congratulations, you’re the better player” when the competition ends and I didn’t win.
“But this has to be how you handle a loss”, says the coach to the sixth grader who refuses to go to school because she lost the school elections the other day, “You have to stand up, shake your opponent’s hand and stay optimistic for the next competition. If you don’t consider yourself a winner after you’ve given it your all, then you really have lost.”
Sorry, dad, but even as I nodded in agreement and prepared a speech to congratulate the winner… I still plotted bloody torture behind my smile! Needless to say, I never learned how to be a good sport until I began playing the Game of Love (i.e. started having lovey-dovey relationships with the opposite sex).
That’s when I really learned something about being a good sport….
You know about the 4 stages of grieving, right? Denial, anger, bitterness and acceptance…
You have to go through all these after you learn that something you have worked so hard for is gone. And you have to do it in ONE minute.
Consider this scenario…
Your ex: “We’re over”
You: “…”
(one minute passes)
Your ex: “sorry”
You: “Sure, no hard feelings. Friends?”
Ideally, that’s what’s supposed to happen. Somehow you have to put a lid on your anger and bitterness, and show the other person that you’re fine with the decision, you’re not mad, you gave it your best shot but sadly it didn’t work out etc.
You have to delay your “anger reflex” to be a good sport.
Let’s face it. You get angry when you lose; angry at yourself, at the other person, at fate… You are so mad that you can chomp down on a pencil and break it.
The same thing happens when you get dumped. You want to scream out your frustration and let all your emotions roll out like Pandora’s socks. But you don’t because you must show your ex that you’re fine, you’ll be fine, you’re not going to fly off the handle, and that you’re a good sport about the whole break up thing.
Simply put, you must LIE to your ex and to yourself until you’re all alone and no one can see you bawl your eyes out
Lying is bad. Lying is more than bad, it’s evil.
But if you have to lie to save your pride while you’re picking up the pieces of your shattered heart, it may be worth it. In a sense, being a good sport after a break up means lying through your teeth about your real feelings and making your next words seem believable (or at the very least, civil).
Here’s another cliche for you to flood your brain with during the break up: “It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all” (Alfred Lord Tennyson)
