“We talked about us last night after sex. It was very romantic. He laughed along with my crazy wedding ideas up until the point when I started making up baby names. Now he won’t answer my calls. Did I scare him?”

Will telling a guy about your dreams of a future with him always result in him never talking to you again? Not really. But it will force him to think about other things about your relationship besides the love making and the romantic fun. An ordinary guy who cannot look beyond the easy-go-lucky romance side of the relationship may need some time off after being directly or indirectly confronted with concepts of a more binding relationship set-up. Hence, a girl gets the cold shoulder for a duration.

I loved the movie The Bachelor because of two things:

• It made more people aware of just how scary the word “future” is to commitment-phobic individuals, and…
• It was the source of one of the most beautiful quotes I have ever heard: It?s a wonderful thing, as time goes by, to be with someone who looks into your face when you?ve gotten old, and still sees what you think you look like.

Short of handing out a calling card saying “Will give best love, but no marriage proposals in the near future”, a guy can simply tell a hopeful girl about his views on commitment and marriage. This goes with the risk of complicating an otherwise hassle-free date, but it effectively squashes any illusions of the ‘future’ when a guy doesn’t have that to offer yet.

Being on the same page with a girlfriend is better than buttering her up and making her think that you are for keeps. There is such a thing as an ‘honest player’ who can share a wonderfully sexy romance with a girl without breaking her heart when it inevitably ends.

Playing doesn’t necessarily mean playing with emotions. Sharing a love, or what seems like love, with someone who understands where you’re coming from can be an excellent learning experience, not to mention a good practice ground for romantic skills. If you can’t play without misleading the other person, do not play at all.