You might have noticed that I jump at the chance to plug advertisements from AJ Western Wear Outfitters (Swarovski belts, Jeans and Western outfits, Mens Western Shirts, Mens Western Wear). This is all because of a secret fetish: Cowboys.

As far as fetishes are concerned, we know that these arise from something deeper, usually something we crave for but don’t know much about exactly. A secret pleasure or desire that we very rarely admit even to ourselves because it makes us uncomfortable.

The origin of my cowboy fetish is very clear to me. It’s all about ‘taming’ the brooding bad boy, the rebel boyfriend, the wild guy that other women fell for but never really caught. The proverbial cowboy is depicted as such: a loner who is aloof and malevolent to intruders in his personal space. At least that’s how I remember James Dean in his last movie, or the expression in this hottie’s eyes in this photo.

Come to think of it, this bad boy-attraction may even explain why I feel compelled to visit Dave Navarro’s site, 6767.com, despite that the whole world of Rock n Roll is alien to me.
How to Tame Your Rebel Boyfriend
1. Give him space. Loving an unruly guy means having the patience of thousands of crochet enthusiasts. Knowing full well that you’re falling for someone who has the reputation of a heart breaker should give you a hint that he won’t change overnight… not even for you.

2. Make Every Second Count. This type of guy demands a lot of alone time, and enough elbow room to do other things (those you might not approve of). Every date must be productive in that, you do not go out of your way to pick fights with him, or become the needy girlfriend that you are. Make him remember your date as fun, lighthearted and whimsical. Give him a reason to smile when he thinks of you even when you’re not together.

3. Reassure Him That You Are Always There For Him. I don’t mean physically, but more of emotionally. Do not pretend to understand the inner struggle he is going through, or the reasons why he is the way he is. Just promise to be there when he is ready to open up.

4. Do not Use Love as a Hostage If you have ever started a sentence with “If you really love me….” then you probably know by now that it doesn’t work. He may indulge you for a second, but will revert back as soon as he feels that you are done trying to make him feel guilty.
A Story on Taming
from the Little Prince (Antoine de Saint Exupery)

“What does that mean?tame?” [asked the Prince]

“It’s an act too often neglected,” said the fox. “It means to establish ties.”

“To establish ties?”

“Just that,” said the fox. “to me, you’re still nothing more than a little boy who’s just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you.And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you I’m nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes.

But if you tame me, then we shall need each other.
To me, you’ll be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world “

If you reached this post looking for answers on how to tame your partner, please be comforted with the fact that you are not alone. Love is a never-ending cycle of taming and being tamed, and we all need to discover how one way or another.

People wonder sometimes why they fall in love only to get disillusioned. Like, problems start as soon as the ‘honeymoon phase’ of the new relationship is over. Frustration and exasperation are not what they signed up for, they say. And when asked what exactly they signed up for, they answer any or all of the following.

Falling in love signs?

Love. Romance. To be happy. Fun. Warmth. Companionship. Someone to hold forever. Being loved. Being accepted. Being.

The ‘in love with love’ mentality isn’t exactly a bad thing. Provided that the person doesn’t build the relationship solely around his concept of what’s ideal, the union could go places. The main hindrance to a potentially good relationship is always the expectation of something unrealistic.

Does romance play a big part in a long term relationship? Yes, absolutely. However, expecting romance to happen day in, day out… even on PMS days, bad hair days and times when friends come over to have a drink or so for hours while watching sports on tv… is not realistic. In the long run, romance and lovey-dovey moments become the big surprise that you look forward to, and not the constantly burning thing that people expect to happen daily in successful relationships.

The fights. Someone with love illusions set in stone could get turned off by fights. Love quarrels can be compared to the the earth shifting its structure every once in a while. The earthquakes and volcano eruptions that come with it are just signs that productive challenges await those who keep faith that in the end, everything will be in its rightful place.

Those who give up after the first onslaught of illusion-bombing miss out on the promises of a lasting relationship. They travel the world following the pixie dust that just doesn’t settle. Being slapped by the reality of compromises and broken promises of forever can be too much to some… but as the old cliche goes, “what doesn’t kill you makes you tougher”… and hopefully, a bit wiser. If you turn cynical, so be it. At least, you have had experiences that justify your jaded opinions.

My resources for giving out constructive advice on love, sex, dating and relationships:

• The Art of Seduction
• Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl-A Woman’s Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship
• He’s Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys (The Newly Expanded Edition)
• If I’m So Wonderful, Why Am I Still Single?: Ten Strategies That Will Change Your Love Life Forever
• Understanding Women: The Definitive Guide to Meeting, Dating and Dumping, if Necessary

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If you’re looking for the entrecard post, no it’s not deleted, it’s still here. I just want my love story contest update to take center stage on the front page.

Update on the Share Your Love Story Contest on Evil Woobie. The entries so far include:

My Love Story by DillyDesigns

Bitcholosophy

IfYouWriteIt

Always by Saphrym.com

MarriageAndBeyond

For all lovers and would-be successful partners, these stories are all winners in giving tips on

Falling in Love Signs

So watch out for those!

I will post updates weekly and on the 7th of February, I will be placing all the entries in one post so that you can read them all. These entries so far are good, and you should read them and be challenged by them.

Thanks to the first ones who blogged about their love stories, you really set the bar high!

There are women… gorgeous, intelligent, wealthy and sexy women… who have the pick of any guy they want to be with. The choice range is far beyond those of the not-so-well endowed ones.

Falling in love signs?

It’s surprising that some of these perfect ladies fall for troubled, disturbed and sometimes even neurotic guys. It is a phenomenon I call “savior complex”. Beyond the seemingly perfect facade is a heart that yearns to cure, to witness the miracle of change brought by one’s own doing.

It may also be the mother instinct that lives inside women in general. A well-meaning girl opens her heart to the troubled guy in question, patiently listens to his woes, decides that there’s hope for that person… and ends up rooting for him to change and be better. And inevitably, falling in love and investing a chunk of their emotions.

Change. It is very gratifying to think that another person would want to change just because you requested it. But the fact is, he will not completely transform his life for you. He might say it, but he won’t do it. He’s comfortably ok with your attention, his ego is full with your mothering and adoration. Why should he go through the trouble of re-inventing himself, when his faults and “imperfections” seem to be what attracted you in the first place?

This leads to bitching, frustrations and rants. You want to leave him, give up and run away… but can’t. Why? Because the wily bad boy has already got anchors and chains all over your marshmallow heart.

You know the age-old adage about not crapping in your own backyard? If you love your sanity and future peace of mind, heed that advice.

Officemates, classmates, FOAFs (friend of a friend), neighbors and organization-mates… These should all be off-limits in your hunting agenda. You will continue to associate with these people even after the game is over. Baptismals, weddings, funerals and simple business meetings or holiday events… he/she will always be there, looking at you (or pretending not to see you, depending on how it ended). If you’re not a big fan of awkwardness, research your friendster list first before going for the kill. Or else, you could be dodging glances for the rest of your life, or wondering which of your friends she/he told… Worse yet, could he/she be planning revenge?

Another consequence could be jealousy. Yes, I know you played that person the best way you know, but hey, being human means falling in love sometimes. Even if it IS someone you did not plan on taking seriously. Think of how irritating it could be when this girl or guy that you were particularly fond of (but had to break up with for a number of reasons) suddenly parades a new beau in front of you.

Do NOT play your friends, period.

If however, the damage is done, simple but effective means of minimizing awkwardness could be utilized. These could also save the good ones… those who turn out to be great finds, but willl probably hate you forever for what you did.

1. You have to explain to that person why you played her/him, provided he/she has already forgiven you. Tell him/her that you did not mean to hurt anyone, and it was all about you, not him/her. That latter thing is cliche and will probably earn you a slap if you’re a guy, and a snort if you’re a girl.

2. Be true, show the real you… Whatever side of your personality you showed during the time that you were together, insist that he/she give you a clean slate this time around. And, for the love of God, don’t draw BS on that slate again!

3. Apologize… So now he/she knows the real you, and your reasons for doing the things you did. It’s time to say “I’m sorry”.

You will never really know who really forgave you, and who are just pretending. After all, they could be playing their own game too. In the instance that you become too paranoid to trust their “it’s ok” response to your sincere apology, it’s time to prepare for a possible backstabbing in the future. It’s always nice to trust the innate goodness of Man and potential for forgiveness, though.

Remember that secret enemies are an occupational hazard for players of The Game. ^_^

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Falling in Love Signs

with a friend or a stranger.