Why do we like people?
It seems uncanny how we clearly delineate between those we like and those we don’t like. What are our bases for making people our friends or enemies? In the same line of thinking, how do we know when a friendship is starting and when it is over?
I try to keep it simple. I categorize my friends into acquaintances and specials. The acquaintances always see my nice side, they never hear of my rants, but at the same time, they never feel my emotional outbursts and sudden floods of affection.
To the special ones, I show my true colors. I show how intense I can be when I feel strongly about something, and most of the time, the extremes of my personality. See, there’s no middle ground to how I feel. Either I feel something 110%, or I’m completely oblivious to it. Those who see my passion see the real me, and I’m left vulnerable and in their mercy. They can hurt me, even make me feel warm at times, and more often than not, make me happy by just having a conversation. Those who don’t, see only the surface. These acquaintances cannot hurt me, and cannot evoke the happiness I feel when im with my specials.
Admittedly, not everyone who I show my true colors to understand the implications. They get turned off, and just decide that they can’t handle my friendship. While this is a fact that i accept, a certain pain comes with the realization that someone I like doesn’t like me back.
I need not say that I have a hundred acquaintances and only a handful of friends. But I treasure that handful and keep them with me forever. I become their champion, their ally, their confidante and most importantly, their refuge. I see time in its alpha and omega. I realize that in our single pass at life, we meet people who stand out to us over others. There are people that I never want to forget, and there are those that I have never really met, even if I was in contact with them for a long duration.
As in the occult, having something that belonged to another person keeps you in contact with that person even after he/she is gone. The paranormal theory is that you can affect that person from afar if you have something of his/hers in your possession. In terms of keeping friendships alive in my mind, I keep little stuffs that my specials give me, with the intention to never forget them. If they never gave me stuff, I ask them to. This is my personal way of protecting them from getting lost, so that I may always wish them well and remember the memories shared.
In cases of lost friendships, I grieve for a long time, yet never really show any sign.
There’s also this thing I do… a certain purging process that enables me to never remember. It brings physical pain to delete a cel number or giveaway a gift, but it must be done. Purging is emotionally tumultous, but I am comforted with the thought that the pain will soon be over… when the time comes that I don’t remember anything. It’s like emptying the trashbin in your PC, or thinking of a vague dream that you had the night before. You know what you dreamed about and what you got rid of, but as the day wears on, it becomes less and less important.
To answer my original question: Why do we like people?
We like others because of how they make us feel about ourselves
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