There are men who will compare you to girls they have had relationships with, girls who you think couldn’t hold a candle to your brilliance, beauty and wit. But now and then you will meet a lovable, gentle, boyish man who will compare you to a woman who seems the paragon of everything a woman should be… his mom!

I have always had a built-in ‘mama’s boy’ detector and it goes off whenever a guy mentions his mom in the middle of a casual conversation. I’ve never understood mama’s boys and how they function. However, now that I have a son of my own, I am beginning to understand  what makes these mama’s boys the way they are… from a mom’s perspective.

“Good job, son! You really ARE number one… give mommy a kiss now…”
“Uh, no. No more playing today and it’s time to take a nap. No Buts!!!”
“Son, you know I’ll always be here for you.”
“See, this is what happens when you don’t listen to mommy.”
“Mommy knows best, you should always do as I say ok?”

How to Survive a Relationship with a Mama’s Boy

1. Don’t Fight It. Instead of resenting him, take it as a compliment that one factor that attracted him to you is your resemblance to his mom, attitude-wise or in physical appearance. This doesn’t mean that you have to suck up to his mom if you don’t feel like befriending a prickly cactus, but give her due respect. She will always be number one, and she knows it. Your job is to work with her and keep quiet when she meddles, AND do things your way when she’s not around.

2. Observe how he is around her. His affection meter is clearly visible around his mom. You can almost see it going up and down. See how a small encouragement has a big effect on him? See how he gets inspired with a few suggestions? These things can go inside your think tank for use later on. After all, you get to know a person through his actions and relationships with you and other people.

The “Drama” Factor

Working with a guy’s ego (and letting your own drama die down for the moment) is something that hooks him, and your seemingly servile attitude at the onset makes him feel like he can get away with anything. When you’ve caught his attention and he drops his guard  (translation: “hey, this girl lets me be me! Cool!”), and falls for it, that’s when you … sink your claws.

Hence the proverbial notion that “women are deceptive”. Well, you know what, we have to be, because some men continue to be self-serving j3rks if we let them.

Show him that you mean business. There’s a time for playing games, for enjoying life and for having fun, but when it comes to planning for your future, make him realize that you won’t take any useless diversion on his part.

As mommy would put it, “I won’t take your BS. I know what you’re about. Now, work with my simple rules and you can have as much ice cream as you want later.”

Some Unproven Theories About Mama’s Boys

I’ve asked a few guys about what they think are the ’symptoms’ of mama’s boys, and here are some of the things they told me.

• Mama’s boys will always be able to tolerate nagging, no matter how many times they complain about it. They grew up in that environment and subconciously, they thrive in it.
• Mama’s boys are more attracted to boobies in girls than booties.
• Mama’s boys love to be petted and sang to when they feel sleepy.

Err…. so, what do you think?

Old timers here will remember a rate your date site that I fell in love with during the early days of my blog. It’s a site that surveys women, and aims to help them screen their dates and find out the real dirt on the guy they’re currently dating. Who provides the info? The guy’s ex-girlfriend.

Behind the success of WomanSavers.com is Stephany Alexander, a dating expert who gives constructive advice to women who got burned by their relationships with men they met online (and offline). She asked me to advertise their services further, and obviously, it gives me great pleasure to do so.

I’ve been to that site a few times since I discovered it, typing some friends’ names in the search box and finding out who’s been naughty. The report-a-guy areas are wonderful, and there ARE cat fights (the guy’s supporters vs. complaining women), but the purpose of the site is noble. The very best guys you could meet online receive sterling recommendations (and a few ‘c’est domage” tears), while the sneaky, deceitful, perverted men are rated poorly by the women unfortunate enough to date them.

I pointed some of my guy friends to that site and asked them if they felt a little pang of fear as they typed in their names or chat aliases on the search bar. Most said “no, of course not, I’m just trying to humor you”, but they admitted to feeling anxious that one of their ex-girlfriends could have reported them. Bad boys, bad boys, what you gonna do…..?

Gift-giving time is upon us once again, and “hello” we say to the season of generosity and splurging! We receive gifts from our friends, families, partners, children and even strangers who just want to give you something.

Let me relate a gift-giving horror story that tells of how a girl got into a rut relationship with a loser who kept track of every single gift he has ever given to his girlfriend. Sounds fun? Read on.

Lovers Quarrel

People in relationships fight all the time, that’s not uncommon. But what if the fight ends with the guy listing out all his expenses during their relationship? Most guys I’ve met will hastily pick up the tab in the restaurant before their girlfriends could even lift a finger in protest. Chivalrous, yes, and generous too. This case is the same with this guy in the story. The girlfriend, blissfully ignoring all the literature she has read about “no free lunch in life”, sits prettily and thinks that she’s the luckiest girl in the world.

Things get ugly when fights come around. Man, the guy does have a good memory when it comes to gifts, but less so when it comes to other things! And after a few sessions of this, the girl gets fed up, asks me on what to do and I offer a very simple suggestion.

Me: Do you guys make love?

Her: Yes, of course.

Me: Then the next time you do it with him, tell him that you charge per hour and that extra efforts on your part will cost him.

Her: (speechless at first, then says…) Are you serious?!?

Me: Ok, you don’t have to tell him all that while you’re at it, but keep a list of all the things you did, how long it took and the number of times you had to drink painkillers to accommodate his pleasure. Then, the next time you fight and he lists all the things he has given you… force him to convert that into a monetary value then deduct from that the monetary value of your “service”. Then PAY him, if applicable.

Her: (Laughing like a hyena now) That will teach him, I guess.

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Chivalrous indeed.