Guy Friends. Those ultra-lovable, ultra-sexy men in our lives that are the epitome of our ideal. We know their game, they know ours. They are here when we need them, just like girl friends, but better in a way that they can coach us with first hand info on how their fellow guys think and act.

In a post I published last year, What About Lasting Friendships, I expressed my adamant warning to never play guy friends, ever. To quote:

These [guys] should all be off-limits in your hunting agenda. You will continue to associate with these people even after the game is over. Baptismals, weddings, funerals and simple business meetings or holiday events? he will always be there, looking at you (or pretending not to see you, depending on how it ended).

Listening to this song while reading the rest of this entry is recommended

How about if the love is real and playing the game isn’t even remotely in your mind? I’m going to take the guy-falls-for-girl example because I recently viewed Bobby’s post, which is frankly the first time I ever read a guy’s take on the friends to lovers situation. Guys take the hit harder than girls, it seems, and to me, it makes sense how girls can resent it when a guy friend falls hopelessly in love with her.

Boyfriends (the lover-types), for all their yumminess and cuddliness, can be the enemy at times. They mess up our minds, play with our emotions, take up hundreds of sleepless hours and oftentimes cause us to cry. Having one of them in our roster of loyal allies means we are stronger in morale, because somehow we have a valuable resource for inside info on men. We can confidently tell our guy friends our secrets, safely practice our moves on them without risking judgment… we are safe and we are loved, and we will never lose them because they will always be there.

See, guys, when you fall for the sweetest most lovable girl in the world and she happens to be your close friend, you might think you’re winning a prize…. but in her eyes, she’s losing a very valuable ally. You were designated in the friend-only category for a reason, and sometimes the reason is that she wants to keep you forever. Complicated?

Quite simple, really. Having a more-than-friends relationship means she might lose you, especially if it’s so painfully obvious that neither of you is ready to settle down. Suddenly, you have become the enemy. Being friends forever means never breaking up, never really losing touch. Love isn’t even an issue because she already loves you, just not in the way you want her to.

BUNGEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

Just got back from a friend’s wedding and this time I did not cry as much as I did when my best friend got hitched. Just a couple of sweat-ridden moments when my friend was walking down the aisle in her white dress, and this Evil Woobie in my mind shouting “There’s still time. Run, my friend… run!!!”. XD

Sadly, most of my comrades-at-arms have succumbed to the seduction of pink roses and confetti; they cannot resist the lure of the beautiful garden path that leads to the house with no back door. And, they were smiling as they went in. Not the look of ‘Girl Interrupted‘-like resistance that I imagine I would sport when it’s my time.

Was it just yesterday when a girl friend would arrive at my workplace just as I was about to leave at exactly 5:30 pm, innocently asking if I planned on doing overtime work at the office. That’s the code. I would then hand over my apartment keys while loudly saying “oh yeah, I have TONS of work to do, i think I’ll work all night.” Then whispering, “Hands off my Chardonnay, that’s the only rule. Oh, and don’t wake the neighbors.”

Sigh. Those were the days. Well-wishes and much love to my friend who’s off to marriage wonderland right now. Have a wonderful trip, mon amie.

Ah, friendship, the life’s quirk that enables people to connect with others in a deeper manner than just exchanging hello’s. A best friend is someone who is similar to, and yet so unlike, you. Two people bond in this type of relationship because they complement each other, where one is weak the other is strong, and vice versa.

It is no wonder that a girl gets attracted to her BF’s best guy pal, or that a guy gets drawn to his GF’s sultry best friend. The couple and the friend spend lots of ‘just hanging out’ moments together, and when trouble arises, the closest chum is there as a shoulder to cry on. For a girl dealing with a boyfriend’s vibrant personality and the equally dramatic fights that go with it, his fun but reserved best friend may seem like a nice, safe haven.

A and B are best pals, then A enters a relationship with C. The couple bickers and C connects with B to discuss A further. In the instant closeness that follows, C falls for B and sleeps with him.

So what happens? Did the girl become the dynamite that blew up a friendship between the two guys? If the friendship wasn’t strong in the first place, maybe yes. However, we have to consider that these guys did not become best pals for no reason. They shared years of dealing with career, family and relationship issues, and that occasional good-natured prank that misfired. They’ve covered each other’s back for a long time before you, the girl in question, even came into their lives.

For a time, one friend may resent the relationship, and stay away. Then, because of the bond that made them best pals in the first place, both will discover that they can’t live without each other. Reuniting between best friends means that one has accepted the situation, or has reached a compromise with his best bud. A word of warning for girls who enter this messy, emotional turf: you face the risk of being ‘just another adventure that we shared’ to these guys, or a lifetime of dealing with an ex who comes to watch sports with your partner every weekend.

That said, a girl who cultivates a good relationship with both guys and doesn’t plan on marrying either of the two, can benefit because she gets a package deal of two guys who are both attracted to her and are ok about it. This obviously creates unlimited opportunities for a threesome better emotional growth.

Ladies,

• Tired of making those pesky commitments to a man, only to find one that’s much more handsome, articulate and loaded?
• Feel the need to change your mind incessantly about what you want from a significant other?
• Do you just not feel quite ready for a full-fledged relationship but want to have someone around just in case things get dicey? Then step right up, buttercup! I’ll saddle your emotional burden for you!

Everyone has that one person that they dated, fooled around with or merely lied to to get in their respective pants. You know, the person you look back upon and say ,” Damn, I did some foul stuff to that guy/girl.” Well, now if you act fast, I can provide you with a service to alleviate all of that negativity in one fell swoop! Here is a small sampling of the services I bring to the table:

1. 24 hour call center. This is a very general service, including but not limited to: calling me up in tears because the other boys you are dating are making you stressed, the two to four times a month when you go out drinking and call me late at night to tell me you want to marry me then forget the whole thing the next day, calling to make sure I am at home while you are on your way out on a date and the bi-monthly random wig-out.
2. Ego stroking. Pretty much self-explanatory, you feel down, I’ll make sure to spoon with you, hold your hair as you vomit from too many girly drinks after a night out without me, tell you you’re pretty all the time, all so you can have that extra bit of confidence to go and talk to that hunky guy you’ve had your eye on down at the gym.
3. Emotional bomb squad. Now this is where I truly shine above the rest. Invite me over, have wild passionate sex with me, then tell me you don’t want to talk to me for a few days and that,” Oh yeah, I’ve been sleeping with my landlord to pay rent.” No problem! I will discretely and without inflicting further emotional trauma tell you I love you, give you a hug and leave 50 bucks on your dresser for your next night out er, I mean to help pay the rent. ( amount left on dresser open to negotiation )

These premium services are available upon request:

• Meeting your parents and telling them we’re just friends so that they won’t be disappointed.
• Helping you move. Helping you move into a new boyfriend’s apartment is for platinum subscribers only.
• Hanging out with your shallow, maladjusted, mainstream-oriented friends. Doing so in a cheesy club or bar is again for platinum accounts only.
• Taking you back time and time again, even though we both know it’s only until anything else comes along, and that it’s only so that you can feel better in the interim.

In short, you have lots of things on your mind (maybe). Why get yourself all confused with feelings of regret? Let me help you release all that party girl lifestyle in a comforting, positive environment. Get it all out now, so that you can move on to a heathy, constructive relationship right after you “dump” me. Let me be your practice boyfriend. Please, try my product.

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Woobie’s note: My guest for this post is Monkeychapps. In his own words, he is “just a hopeless romantic that has been burnt too many times and write as a form of therapy.” If he in any way made you smile, kindly subscribe to his feed. Or take him up on his offer.

:D

I was asked to give the first speech on my bestfriend’s wedding tomorrow. I don’t know if I will cry or just sound like I’m giving an overly dramatic (*cough* scripted) presentation.

Not being a big fan of marriage (yep, I am not married but have a kid… and perhaps I’ll burn in hell for it like the Catholic doctrines say, but that’s another story), I feel like I’m watching my friend take a bungee jump or enter a house with no back door. I feel like shouting “noooooooo….!!!!” with arms stretched out towards her, except that the guy she is marrying is the most decent, most loveable and most grounded guy she ever went out with, so I feel reassured that she’s in good hands.

Don’t get me wrong, I am very happy for her. I am proud that she took the leap of faith and is now entering an institution that is scarier for me than… well, than nothing. It is the scariest thing. (Please read When A Playgirl Retires…)

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And here’s the speech…

First, I will describe how I know Carol. I became her bestfriend when we met in College, in the University of the Philippines. Despite the obvious differences in our personalities, we clicked and maintained a strong friendship up to this day. Considering our sister-like closeness and our shared experiences of being financially independent Alpha females, I know I am in the best position to say that her love for Kirt is the most wonderful thing a man could ever wish for.

Kirt and Carol met in 2002 at a party and they clicked so well that people around them immediately noticed the chemistry. However, they remained “friends only” for a long time, and went out on friendly dates occasionally. In 2005, Carol contacted me and asked me to have dinner with her and a guy friend. I know from experience that when she asks this of me, she wants me to check the guy out, learn a lot about the guy (by asking loaded questions) and just get a feel of what the guy is like.

I was very surprised to note that Kirt is very different from the other guys she introduced to me. There was something about him that told me that “this guy will never hurt Carol”. He was funny in a way that is a bit corny, but I immediately knew that he’s a very kind, understanding and compassionate person. There was no doubt in my mind that Kirt is someone who could be trusted, and that he is the type of guy who will take care of Carol, and who is grounded enough to not let her have her way all the time. I knew that he is the “one” for her, and I was ecstatic that finally, my headstrong best friend has found her match.

He complements her by being the tempering factor to her passionate nature. And Carol, in turn, inspires him with her infectious positivity and carefree attitude. They will have children who have strong faith in God, because they both have the Lord at the center of their lives. I have no doubt that their marriage will succeed and will remain strong.

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Find friends according to location and race of preference:
Filipinos - Asians - German - Latino - French - Chinese - India - Italian - Jewish - Korean
Find friends according to hobbies, interests and age:
Seniors (40 yo++) - Fitness Minded - Success Driven - Food and Dining Enthusiasts