Ah, friendship, the life’s quirk that enables people to connect with others in a deeper manner than just exchanging hello’s. A best friend is someone who is similar to, and yet so unlike, you. Two people bond in this type of relationship because they complement each other, where one is weak the other is strong, and vice versa.

It is no wonder that a girl gets attracted to her BF’s best guy pal, or that a guy gets drawn to his GF’s sultry best friend. The couple and the friend spend lots of ‘just hanging out’ moments together, and when trouble arises, the closest chum is there as a shoulder to cry on. For a girl dealing with a boyfriend’s vibrant personality and the equally dramatic fights that go with it, his fun but reserved best friend may seem like a nice, safe haven.

A and B are best pals, then A enters a relationship with C. The couple bickers and C connects with B to discuss A further. In the instant closeness that follows, C falls for B and sleeps with him.

So what happens? Did the girl become the dynamite that blew up a friendship between the two guys? If the friendship wasn’t strong in the first place, maybe yes. However, we have to consider that these guys did not become best pals for no reason. They shared years of dealing with career, family and relationship issues, and that occasional good-natured prank that misfired. They’ve covered each other’s back for a long time before you, the girl in question, even came into their lives.

For a time, one friend may resent the relationship, and stay away. Then, because of the bond that made them best pals in the first place, both will discover that they can’t live without each other. Reuniting between best friends means that one has accepted the situation, or has reached a compromise with his best bud. A word of warning for girls who enter this messy, emotional turf: you face the risk of being ‘just another adventure that we shared’ to these guys, or a lifetime of dealing with an ex who comes to watch sports with your partner every weekend.

That said, a girl who cultivates a good relationship with both guys and doesn’t plan on marrying either of the two, can benefit because she gets a package deal of two guys who are both attracted to her and are ok about it. This obviously creates unlimited opportunities for a threesome better emotional growth.

You remember I told you about the wedding I attended and my Matron of Honor speech? Here’s a new development. My best friend is going to have a baby! I’m so happy for her!

We have been together since we were freshies in college. We studied together, dreamt of being in love together, went boy watching together, and did a lot of activities together, wholesome or otherwise.

But that’s ALL in the past!

What’s important now is we both have families and we’re so content. Now on to scolding kids and telling them the following BS we were told by well-meaning but pesky adults while we were growing up:

• Sex is dirty and incredibly immoral, you will burn in hell if you do this before marriage! (hidden meaning: you must marry the guy you have sex with to avoid going to to hell)
• Never ever let anyone touch your hand (you’ll get pregnant!)
• A kiss could definitely get you pregnant!
• People who are out on the streets too late will turn to stone by midnight (and get pregnant!).
• Love is never hurtful.

Not the exact words, but you get it? Warnings and misleading prohibitions designed to inhibit budding vixens from being the go-getters, calculatingly clever career women, shrewd streetsmart girlfriends, and non-doormats that they could be. These don’t work at all. Nah-ah!

Growing adults will soon discover that:

• Relationships are painful if built solely on daydreams and unrealistic expectations.

• Sex isn’t dirty, and doing it before marriage won’t bring you the wrath of God. BUT it needs to be done by responsible adults who have the means to provide for the consequence (pregnancy).

• Love is something we reserve for people who respect us back.

• Having an opinion about everything and being liberal minded will shock conservative parents initially, then have them bursting with inexplainable PRIDE later on (albeit secretly).

We have a lifetime to discuss these things, and a few years of penance (in the hope that karma doesn’t bite our asses off!) before our kids get old enough to have their own say on things. For now though, it’s ‘how-to-make-sure-the-nappies-don’t-get-soaked’ advice.

:D