Emotional Maturity: How to Make a Playboy Commit

Recently, I described the traits of a playboy and why women find them attractive. Since that time, I’ve been contemplating the other side of the coin.In short, I’ve been thinking about that mysterious grey area between being bad and being too nice. Are these so-called “players” really intent on keeping the bad boy persona, or is it something that’s out of their control?

Note that I’m talking about a quality ‘bad boy’ here… the type that can be considered a great catch — with a good career, his sense of propriety is in place, he adores women too much (way too much!) to hurt them physically… and NOT the type that’s too far gone in the delusion of alcohol- or drug-induced coolness.

Frankly, I believe these traits can be a put on, considering the fact that most people think ‘nice guys finish last’. However, I also think that the whole “playboy attitude” is a bind that these men are in because some other factors are in play. Here’s one of these factors:

The Maturity Stage He’s in When You Met Him

Parents have this dream about starting off their kids right so that they will make something of themselves in the future. As their son’s growing up, he shows traits of being a leader, a progressive thinker and a successful entrepreneur. But at 30, he still isn’t in a relationship and his idea of a weekend trip is still splurging his hard-earned cash on a “flirt-all-you-can” weekend trip to babeland.

The “mature, responsible adult mindset” is something that we know about, but it’s getting to that frame of mind that’s tricky. If you met him during a crucial stage in his life, i.e. he’s OK career-wise, but he’s enjoying his bachelor life too much to think of a future with one girl and a few kids, you have a choice…

You can wait it out, or you can give him an ultimatum.

Option 1: Wait it out

The fact is, he may tell you he loves you, but at this time, he loves himself more.

However, if he’s worth it, and if you love him enough, you can go with the flow and let him wear himself out. Time flies, even for those who have a habit of “living in the moment”. Eventually, he’ll wake up and realize that he’s not young anymore, and he feels hollow just thinking about one-night-stands and hang overs. He might just look around and discover that you’re there (you’ve always been there) waiting patiently for that “OMG, I want to settle down” moment to come.

If you agree that pitching your tent outside his bachelor’s pad is the best way to catch him, you might want to read my post on how to tame a bad boy.

But beware… some men never outgrow this ‘immature’ phase, and you might be waiting for nothing.

Option 2: Give him an ultimatum

Saying “this isn’t working, you can clean up your act now, or spend your life without me” to a guy you really like is PAINFUL, but it’s a stand you have to take if you want to force him into the relationship mindset. Remember, the more time you spend with a guy who’s wishy-washy about committing, the more you’re falling for his charm and his promises.

If you take this road, be ready to move on without him. Here’s a classic line you can use on this type of guy “Call me when you’ve grown up. If I’m still available, we can date again.”