10 Ways to Ditch a Guy You Do Not Want to Date Anymore

**Woobie’s note: this guest post is written by Karen a blogging friend of mine. Enjoy the read!**

A friend of mine contacted me a few weeks ago and asked me for advice on how she could “easily” let down this guy she was dating. She finally realized that he wasn’t the guy he claimed to be when they first met.

Dating. It’s a strange world….the first few weeks you meet someone new your heart goes-a-flutter and you seem to lose all sense of reality (or common sense for that matter). Being in love has been described as having the same effects upon the human brain as when you are drunk. So you missed the first 15 red flags that said “Hey, maybe this really isn’t the guy for me…” but you continued to date him for reasons unknown (good sex, perhaps?).

Whatever your reasons for not wanting to continue the relationship, you now find yourself in a bit of a spot. It’s hard to say “hey, this just isn’t working out for me, let’s be friends”. We have all been there at one point or another. Situations like these require “creative” means of losing the loser. Here are 10 suggestions on ways you can ditch a guy after you realize you don’t want to date him anymore:

1. “It’s not working out for me, I think we should just be friends”

This is the tried and true method of dumping a guy. This is the socially preferred method of dumping a guy. If you can grow the balls to tell him to his face that it just isn’t working out, do so and don’t read any further. It’s going to get a lot worse (for the guy) before it gets better…

So Casanova didn’t get the multiple hints that it wasn’t working out for you. When you saw him last, he had a bouquet of flowers for you and started talking about your future together. Time to bust out the trusty drill and put a few holes in this fail-boat of a cruise ship:

2. How YOU doin’? (New York Guido accent)

Agree to go out on a date with him. Whilst out on said date, be sure that he notices you checking out other guys. There is no better way to bring a man’s self confidence down than to start checking out other guys. Make a verbal comment of “how big the arms are on that one guy over there” you see at the local coffee shop. Make another comment on how nice of a car that other guy is driving. Make a random comment on how you “get so turned on by men with big muscles/etc”. In other words, find faults with your date and point them out in a round-a-bout way.

3. Wham-Bam-Thank-You-Sir (now get the f*ck out, my t.v. shows are on)

After the act of sex….(assuming you are sleeping with him), kick him out of your bedroom and out of your house. Most guys will want to cuddle or talk and it is now your mission to get Mr. Limp Dick out of your house and onto the street where he belongs. During the act of sex….make a few sly comments about the size of his manhood. If you are real lucky, he might be nervous and have a hard time getting a hardon. Instant ammunition. Let your imaginations run wild with this one…

4. Diney-Ditchey

If he takes you out to dinner, have one of your girlfriends call you 30 minutes into the meal. Be sure to order the most expensive item on the menu (after a few drinks) and then once said friend calls you, pretend it is your mom/sister/aunt Lou and tell him that you have to go. Walk out without so much as a “good bye”.

5. Hey Sailor, Looking for a Good Time? !!

When guys are interested in a woman for a relationship….there are certain things they look for. Rather, there are certain things that are red flags to them. “Is she a whore” is one of them. Nothing will make a guy looking for a relationship turn tail and run faster than the assumption that the girl he is interested in likes to do a little sucky-sucky on the side. Have one or two of your guy friends (platonic or otherwise) leave a few sexually suggestive text messages on your cell phone. Leave said cell phone out for Romeo to accidentally see…..

6. I Got Friends in Loooow Places….

Have a few of your girlfriends/guy friends “accidentally” meet you two at a bar. Give them the 411 on the situation and release the hounds ! After a few hours of being grilled under the hot seat by your friends, the loser will be lucky if he is able to find his penis to be able to tuck it under his legs as he crawls out of the bar and into a taxi (alone).

7. Loopy Lisa

Remember how it was when you first started dating this guy? You hung on his every word…you instantly memorized his favorite likes and dislikes. Not anymore. Become aloof and distant when you guys talk. Talk about yourself and don’t pay any attention to him. Hell, this is probably the easiest way to let a guy down because you can do all of this over the phone and don’t have to bother being seen out in public with him.

8. Beaaaotch !!

Nothing says “Get the f**k out of my life, loser” better than a raging b*tch. Pick at everything he says to you. Start trouble at the drop of a dime. Make fun of him and his likes and dislikes.

The problem with being a bitch is that most guys are too stupid to get a clue. They will turn into a spineless wimp and start agreeing with everything you say…..they reek of desperation. Just another clue to let you know exactly why you are trying to ditch this guy. We hate losers/spineless wimps.

9. Email/Text Message

If all of the above suggestions are too over the top or mean for you….consider sending him a text message/email. This way you can take your time in composing the right things you want to say….and you won’t have to chance him talking you out of your decision. If there’s one thing guys are good at, it’s selling themselves. My brother is one of those. He isn’t the best looking guy out there, he is unemployed and drives a 20 year old car….and lives with Grandma!

Yet every single month he has a new HOT girl that is way out of his league. How does he do it? The man was born with a silver tongue and the gift of gab. He stays with women long enough to get whatever it is he is looking for then moves onto the next one. Trust me, if you find yourself dating a guy like my brother, take your pointy fingers on both of your hands and stick them in your ears. Do not let the guy get one word in edgewise. Trust me.

10. There’s a sucker born every minute.

I personally do not advocate going this route….but I have some girlfriends who have. Use the poor SOB for all that he is worth. Spend his money, drink his drink, smoke his weed. When it is all said and done he will wake up in a daze wondering what happened and swearing to never date a girl like you ever again. This is when you pass him off to your cute girlfriend so she can take a ride.

Guys like that never learn their lesson.

There you have it. 10 ways to ditch a guy after you realize it isn’t working out for you. Some of them are a bit over the top, but others speak volumes to common sense. I would advise you to seriously consider the #1 suggestion. Even if you suck at things like this….practice makes perfect.

After the breakup…

You should probably analyze how and why you got into this situation in the first place so it hopefully won’t happen again. Keep an open eye for the little red flags when you first meet a guy. If you continually seem to attract losers in life, might I suggest you try an online dating site? There are many online dating sites out there ranging from people who are looking for love to people who are looking for love…right now.

For the past 6 years I have been counseling daters, I have suggested trying eHarmony.com. eHarmony is not for everyone as they are a high-end online dating service. In order to join you must fill out an exhaustive questionnaire about your personality. The people who join eHarmony are looking for a serious relationship that will eventually lead to marriage.

As such, the types of guys/girls that you find on there are not like the average loser you might meet at a bar on any given night. The only other drawback to eHarmony is that they can cost a little bit more for their subscriptions. They do offer discounts however and a quick Google search for eharmony promotional code will result in several of these “coupon codes” that will give you an instant substantial savings on your monthly membership.

Or you can just give up on dating, join a convent in the South Pacific and devote your life to the Lord and building missions.