Why He Did Not Call After You Gave Him Your Number

Here’s one of the awkward situations that make women go nuts with confusion. Picture this scenario…

This guy approaches a girl in a party and they chat for 30 minutes. They seem to have made a connection and the guy hands over his cel so the girl can type in her number. He does the same on her cel. A week later, he still hasn’t called, and she’s thinking of calling him… What gives?”

If you met a guy and he acted like he’s into you, yet he never followed it up, you can…

• Look back and analyze the initial interaction objectively – Was he tipsy while you were talking? Were YOU too tipsy and somehow initiated the phone number exchange?
• What was your mood then? – Were you full of the old attitude or simply pissed at how your friends did not show up (forcing you to talk to a guy who seemed harmless enough just because you didn’t want to waste your outfit and the cab ride to the meeting place)?
• Did you look at him and instantly thought “Where have you been all my life, my Prince? Are you here to take me away to your castle?”

You see, there are plenty of reasons why men don’t call, but one thing’s for sure… at one point during the interaction they felt uneasy about you. The problem is that they weren’t able to pinpoint the cause of that uneasiness at the time so they just went with the flow, exchanged numbers with you and said goodbye. In the days that followed, here’s what probably happened….

In a discussion with a female friend, the guy said….

1. “She had ‘commitment’ written all over her face. She looked like she’s in love with me already and I feel like I’m ASKING to be transformed into her boyfriend the minute I call her. We just met, jeez!”

Most guys you meet want to hook up, no question about it. But they don’t really feel good about instantly turning into your BF before they’re ready. The funny thing is that after they flirt with you for a while and you respond positively, they want to WAIT, learn more about you, and maybe date you a few times before they even consider asking you for a love affair of sorts. Considering this… if you acted needy and desperate for a BF when you met, he will think twice about calling you afterward because he doesn’t want to send the wrong message.

2. “She had too much ‘girl power’.

I know where the ‘girl power’ attitude comes from. You see, most women never want to be thought of as ‘easy’ or ‘ho-ey’… so we put on the ‘attitude’. Before he even said a word, did you look at him like you were asking silently “Oh I know what you’re up to… you want to score with me, huh? Well, I don’t know about that… I mean, look at you!” Men can feel your animosity but they won’t be able to figure out that you didn’t want to seem “too easy” because they have their OWN insecurities to deal with.

If you give him a glare that says “you gotta work for my attention… I’m a DIVA, you know!”, he’s simply going to assume that pursuing you further will get him rejected, slapped or humiliated publicly. Giving your number won’t solve it… he will probably think it’s fake or it’s the number of a funeral parlor somewhere.

What You Can Do…

Before we discuss what to do with the guy who didn’t call, let’s talk about the way you must behave the next time you get ditched by your pals and end up talking to this handsome stranger…

• Stay cordial, smile a lot, chuckle on cue (there’s a difference… chuckling sounds like this ‘Heh, you’re funny’, while laughing sounds like this “ha ha ha Ha Ha HA HA HAA”).

• Do your best to come off as the independent, sassy girl that you are. You can act this way and not get thought of as ‘easy’ only if you do this next step… DO NOT hang around any longer than necessary. Use work as an excuse if need be… just leave while he’s enjoying his chat with you.

• Chat with him or exchange jokes for about 15 to 20 minutes.. then give yourself 10 minutes more to say your goodbye (and exchange numbers). This way, you can preserve his mental image of a ’sassy but sort of distant girl who can take care of herself’.

Now, what can you do about the guy who didn’t call you… you can try calling him up. However, there’s a certain attitude that works when you’re calling a guy for the first time just to check if you really made a connection that night you met (or was it just your imagination).

First, keep your voice neutral and throw your shyness out of the window for now. Next, say something like “hi, you’re the guy [HIS NAME] who offered to buy coffee this week. Is that still on?” If he says ‘yes’ and sets up a date, great. If not, just tell him you’re checking and hang up. Short, sweet, painless.

If  he calls after he denied asking you to go out for coffee… tell him you’ve deleted his number and he needs to introduce himself again. By the way, you SHOULD erase his number if he shows disinterest after you called him up.  Why waste phone space on flaky men?