Surviving a Break Up – How to Strengthen Your Resolve

Breaking Up is Like Handing in Your Resignation Letter…

If you’re in the middle of a break up or if you’re thinking of breaking up with your partner, this article is for you. With this post, I hope I can help convince you that your feelings right now are NORMAL… that it’s not the end of the world (although it feels that way) … hang in there and last a year, THEN, talk about how you survived your break up.

End of June Last Year, I Quit My Job

I can’t believe that at this same date last year, I quit my relatively lucrative job in an outsourcing company because of stress (and because the blogs have finally shown profit), and a number of other things that I won’t mention here. The thing is, I’ve had it. It’s not worth the effort anymore…. and I was staying for the wrong reasons (I didn’t want to lose touch with my immediate superior and team mates, it’s my first real job so I was sentimental, I need the cash, etc.).

The fact is, if you’re not motivated anymore you’ll feel very tired even with the least amount of stress. And, that’s how it was when I finally decided to leave. Before sending my resignation letter, I was stressed and lonely, and miserable… but I was so scared of quitting because of FEAR.

It felt like there’s an angel with horns on my shoulder telling me that…

• I could be making a huge mistake and I could end up regretting it.
• I might never find something like it again.
• Maybe it’s just me? (i.e. the hardships are just inside my head and I just didn’t have the proper mind set to continue)

I’ve been there for 8 years so ending it was painful… to say the least. The funny thing is that all throughout my resignation, I kept feeling the same emotions that one would normally feel during a break up.

It’s Like Breaking Up!

• You’re losing something that has been with you for the longest time. You know you should be excited at the chance to find a new life, but right now, all you know is that you feel EMPTY.
• You share your experience with people, telling them your reasons… and secretly wishing they’d convince you that you’re doing the RIGHT thing.
• You’re this close  –>| |<— to just going with the flow (again) and not pushing through with the break up.
• Every time you think about your past relationship, you feel a big fat thump inside your heart like it’s going to break anytime now.

Here’s What You Need to Do — Be Steadfast and Stick to Your Decisions

It’s not the memory of the love you had, but the LONGING for your past happiness that’s making you miserable. There’s a big difference. The memory is in the past, but missing your life back then is in the present, and you can’t ignore it… BUT you also cannot let that feeling weaken your resolve.

You know what else could weaken your resolve? Bitterness.

If you keep hating your ex, and you can’t forgive yourself for being so weak and/or so giving … you’re subconsciously increasing that feeling of longing… and you end up mistaking it for Love.If you stay bitter, you not only trick yourself into thinking you’re wrong for ending it, you also make yourself vulnerable to slipping back to the same routine (fighting, blaming… and eventually, giving up).

Look at the Bright Side

Say “at least I’ll have more time for myself, to spend with friends, my music, my art, my hobbies… etc.” at least once a day. It’s not much but it’s going to give you a direction (at least for that day). Do this daily for a year and you’ll soon find out that you SURVIVED!