Chivalrous Playboys: Can a Modern Guy Still be a Gentleman?

We see “odd couples” all the time and we tend to assume things as soon as they pass by. Take it from someone who spent years sitting with friends in coffee shops and people watching. A lot of people judge odd couples harshly just by asking this question… “What did she see in him?” Here are a few stereotypical assumptions that immediately come to mind:

• Maybe he’s rich and he can give her every material thing she wants?
• Maybe he’s so darned good in bed that no other guy in her life comes close?

Or, MAYBE he is any or all of the following things. Here’s my take on how a modern playboy can still show respect towards women, regardless if he’s playing the game of love or not.

• Acknowledges the capacity of women to think for themselves

Sure, men know how to play the game, but there are some women who can play along with them. In fact, a guy who can openly explain to a girl what their relationship is, and the limits to what they can achieve together as a couple is on a higher level compared to his peers. Women aren’t dumb, and if a guy explains to a girl that he’s playing the field and won’t be committing to anyone anytime soon, the girl will get it. She at least would be able to decide whether she is comfortable with the arrangement or not.

Are you cheating with her? Tell her. Are you seeing other women besides her? She at least should know that she isn’t the only one. Let her decide if she wants to stay or not.

Part of the reason why women hate cheaters is that they were misled. If men are brave enough to tell their women the real score, there won’t be any cheaters…. only delusional and/or confident women who choose to believe that they can snag the guy despite the competition and his inability to commit. But then again, it’s the woman’s choice, one she made with her eyes wide open to the whole situation.

• Considerate enough to update his girlfriend(s) about the status of their relationship

Relationships change, and even the most hardened playboys will settle down with a woman in the future. I’ve met a guy who went through his “rounds” before he finally settled down in a committed relationship. He explained to each girl he went out with that he probably is never going back to them, as a lover or as a playmate… because he’s retiring. Some girls will take this as a closure and will probably let him go without hitch. This at least will prevent unwanted calls from past lovers or tempting offers of trips abroad together. He’s committed, but hardly a saint.

It’s not about opening doors and offering seats anymore… It’s all about reveling in the differences between men and women, and respecting what each is capable of.