Chivalrous Playboys: Can a Modern Guy Still be a Gentleman?
We see “odd couples” all the time and we tend to assume things as soon as they pass by. Take it from someone who spent years sitting with friends in coffee shops and people watching. A lot of people judge odd couples harshly just by asking this question… “What did she see in him?” Here are a few stereotypical assumptions that immediately come to mind:
- Maybe he’s rich and he can give her every material thing she wants?
- Maybe he’s so darned good in bed that no other guy in her life comes close?
Or, MAYBE he is any or all of the following things. Here’s my take on how a modern playboy can still show respect towards women, regardless if he’s playing the game of love or not.
- Acknowledges the capacity of women to think for themselves
Sure, men know how to play the game, but there are some women who can play along with them. In fact, a guy who can openly explain to a girl what their relationship is, and the limits to what they can achieve together as a couple is on a higher level compared to his peers. Women aren’t dumb, and if a guy explains to a girl that he’s playing the field and won’t be committing to anyone anytime soon, the girl will get it. She at least would be able to decide whether she is comfortable with the arrangement or not.
Are you cheating with her? Tell her. Are you seeing other women besides her? She at least should know that she isn’t the only one. Let her decide if she wants to stay or not.
Part of the reason why women hate cheaters is that they were misled. If men are brave enough to tell their women the real score, there won’t be any cheaters…. only delusional and/or confident women who choose to believe that they can snag the guy despite the competition and his inability to commit. But then again, it’s the woman’s choice, one she made with her eyes wide open to the whole situation.
- Considerate enough to update his girlfriend(s) about the status of their relationship
Relationships change, and even the most hardened playboys will settle down with a woman in the future. I’ve met a guy who went through his “rounds” before he finally settled down in a committed relationship. He explained to each girl he went out with that he probably is never going back to them, as a lover or as a playmate… because he’s retiring. Some girls will take this as a closure and will probably let him go without hitch. This at least will prevent unwanted calls from past lovers or tempting offers of trips abroad together. He’s committed, but hardly a saint.
It’s not about opening doors and offering seats anymore… It’s all about reveling in the differences between men and women, and respecting what each is capable of.
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10 Responses to “Chivalrous Playboys: Can a Modern Guy Still be a Gentleman?”
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interesting thoughts you have here. but you know sir, there are also gentlemen who are playboys….
sometime in my life, i met a rare breed that uses God and chivalry as a ‘trap’ to lure the girls. good thing that i am a smart cookie to realize his bad intentions. i just pray now for his karma.
just my 2 cents here
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@Snow
So the old-fashioned chivalry is a put on? How terrible.
I don’t think it is dead.
In fact, opening doors and old fashioned respect for women is something that every man should do…..regardless of what day/century it is. Although some women nowadays are so self-sufficient that they view it as offensive or the guys are “trying too hard” when they act respectful around a lady.
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@K
ahuh, self-sufficient’s the word
This is really great. I hope there are guys out there who will take this information seriously and try to be more open and respectful in their relationships. This is a very good point of view!
Teresa’s last blog post..Going Green?
I’m glad I’m married but I will apply this to my girlfriends
Just kidding,any man that doesn’t hold the door open for a woman is a loser.I mostly have women friends.My best blogging buddies are all women.I been married for 13 yrs so I’m not hip to all the current games but I know when a women I was dating tried that we’re just talking and I’m also “talking” to this one and that one I knew it was time to settle down
Peace nice blog stumbled
PS my blog is do follow also
Thanks
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The whole idea of the playboy has almost swapped around these days in the UK, since “girlpower” and the rise of hen nights and women going to strip shows I’d say that myself and most of my friends (and many blokes in general) are far more dubious about those who hop in and out of relationships.
The truth is (depending who you are) if the guy or the girl are easy to bed then you are joining a long queue! I’ve found it’s always better to be yourself, get to know a woman and then decide if things could go further. It’s not some kind of Victorian or Christian belief on my part, it’s just common sense, besides bedding a liar (however much of a smooth talker) is never that great!
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@teresa
yeah, sex is sex but some old fashioned respect is still imperative.
@JohnS
“talking” is a good way of putting it.
@Paul
women in general have the tendency to develop fond feelings with men they bed, which is cool with some guys, but not all men wont use that against women.
It should serve as respect to your partner in relationship. If the man is playing the game and cheating the woman, at least he should have balls to come forward to be open enough with her. Having said that, these days woman can do back the same thing. Woman in this century isnt dumb as thought.
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It should serve as respect to your partner in relationship. If the man is playing the game and cheating the woman, at least he should have balls to come forward to be open enough with her. Having said that, these days woman can do back the same thing. Woman in this century isnt dumb as thought.
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