Playing the Game of Love: How NOT to Fall in Love with a Fling

I have always believed in being on the same page with a guy when it comes to the status of a relationship. I’m sure a lot of women will agree that it’s easy enough to say yes when the conditions are all set and the guy is nice enough for a “for the moment” affair. At the onset, we firmly believe that we can handle that intense, temporary bout with insanity called… a fling.

A fling is a very brief sexual or romantic relationship with  a guy who knows exactly what’s going on. During the first few weeks, it’s pretty easy to keep your emotions locked in. However, there are guys who are more skilled at playing than you, and these guys won’t stop at sex, they will do everything in their power to make you fall… and you do.

You find yourself hoping for the UNTHINKABLE… you suddenly want a committed relationship with this funny, smart and sexy guy who has captivated your heart.

Take a deep breath and think about how your relationship started. You might have forgotten about your little arrangement or the environment where you met him.

1. Did you meet your fling in a bar?

Didn’t you hear him say that he’s a ‘regular’ there and that every Saturday night, he’s there honing his craft, dishing one pick up line after another and meeting other women? Remember that he could be keeping a lot of female friends who he regularly sleeps or goes out with.

2. Saying “let’s see how this goes” does not denote exclusivity

The fact that he made an open ended arrangement with you means he isn’t ready to commit (OR, he’s already committed and can’t with you anymore). That he is smart, sexy and funny means he can get any girl to fling with him, like he got you… with that power at his disposal, can you blame him if for not wanting to commit to anyone yet?

3. Does he know your friends?

Speaking from experience: if he was introduced to you by one girl friend (who also happened to be a player), there’s a big chance that your friend also had a fling with him (read reminiscing jealousy). Talk to your friend and frankly ask if she did… then compare notes!

4. When he says “I think I’m falling…”

Guys, even those who are serial daters are human too. He could say that he’s falling for you, and it’s true. But, again, this does not mean that he wants to go exclusive.

The Rules of Engagement

1. A fling will inevitably end, but until then, you can enjoy it all you want (just be safe) and you can benefit a lot from it. Think of it as a romantic movie that you watched, or a very good trilogy that has reached its third installment (Fact: I am still in denial about The Matrix ending). This means that it won’t last and you’d better prepare for a heartbreak if you’re the type that falls easily.

2. He can still be your friend. Breaking up with a fling is tough, but these guys can be your best friends after you learn to accept their Game. He could also be the ultimate Fubu (F-buddy) or FWB (friends with benefits)… or simply a guy who will listen to your rants about other guys. You can still keep him, just not in a way that will stifle him.