Collect and Select: Are You a Player?
So many people find the word “player” offensive. Being called a playgirl or a playboy just doesn’t seem right to a lot of people, or is it just the culture that I grew up in? However, analysing how people (girls, in particular) behave and interact during the “courtship phase” of a relationship reveals that those who claim to be non-players are actually quite adept in playing the game of love.
“Collect and Select”
When we start dating, we receive advice from our peers, our relatives and our parents. One of the noteworthy points that they make is this… you must never sell yourself short.
They tell us to wait, enjoy our youth, enjoy our desirability and never give out when we can preserve our value for one who is really worthy.They tell us that we must CHOOSE the best among the rest… that one person who has everything we want and more… do not fall in love with the wrong guy… you, my li’l girl must “collect and select”.
Following this advice means not jumping into a relationship with the first guy who offers to be your boyfriend. So, if you have several suitors, you must entertain every one of them… go out, have fun, be lovey-dovey at the movies, share a kiss or hold hands…. just to see if you are compatible with each. You are collecting… not choosing one among them, but simply dating everyone as “friends” because you are adamant with your vow not commit to anyone until you are absolutely, positively sure that he is “right” for you.
But isn’t this concept of friendly dates and being close …”playing”?
Think about it…
- You flirt with all of them (translation: you string them along)
- You don’t reject anyone outright (translation: you keep their hopes up)
- You agree to friendly dates (translation: you are dating several guys)
- You enjoy the fact that they are competing for your attention (guess what: some of them don’t even know that they have competition… you didn’t tell them?)
If you are in playgirl identity crisis like I was,then you have to rethink the way you behave towards your suitors. What you must remember is that… there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with “collecting and then selecting”.
The only thing you have to do is to explain to them that…
- You aren’t in a committed relationship (yet) with any of them. Technically, you are single!
- Your time is not exclusive to one guy, and
- You are under no obligation to follow their “dating rules” (don’t go out with anyone else, don’t text with anyone else etc…)
All the televized dating games are based on the same principle… e.g. The Bachelor, the Bachelorette, For Love or Money, Elimidate, The Fifth Wheel… etc.). It’s all about choosing. And, really, how can you choose something when you haven’t tried it out yet?
:gg:
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9 Responses to “Collect and Select: Are You a Player?”
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Naaah, nothing wrong with playing if both parties are aware of the game.
Ade’s last blog post..Bugsy The Talking Bunny
@Ade
HI! The Game is not as popular to some people. Heh.
I have heard “I’m not a playboy, just friendly” way too many times that i’ve lost count. lol
In my day, they called this “playing the field” and it was perfectly acceptable although didn’t seem to be a very popular mindset. Remember, I’m just barely out of the “married by 18 or an old maid” mindset
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Margaret’s last blog post..In My Life
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witchypoo’s last blog post..Mining the Search Strings
@Margaret
playing the field and sowing wild oats were the terms for the Game in the past, and they’re still more appropriate than the newer terminology for it .
@witchy
oh, no, i still use the rotating php code hun. I just don’t use images anymore.
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Hey Woobie,
I really agree that a girl should not be bound by any rules, especially ones that society imposes on them. If she wants to go out with many guys at once, then that’s her choice.
At which point, she should make sure that the guys that she sees knows this as well. If she’s living an honest, open life, then people will accept it.
I wouldn’t mind sharing exciting nights with a girl that might not be there the next day, as long as I knew that in advance.
If a girl’s honest, then I can accept pretty much anything about her.
Chris Calo’s last blog post..How to Be the Man Women Desire
@Chris
Societal rules are only present in a girl’s mind. We tend to stick with the principles we were raised with and fail to see that things are changing.
I still can’t believe that kids are getting paired up in movies and television… like love teams or special friendships!
It’s definitely not good that we’re pairing up kids in movies and TV… you make some very good points here.
Thoughtful post
Marnie @ My Acai Berry Reviews’s last blog post..Review: Acai Noni Slimming Blend Superfood Body Cleanse
Great article. Fitness and Health are very important!