Befriending Your Ex: Connecting With the One that Got Away
I believe that one should never waste resources, and one should always keep great friends. Sadly, some of my worst dating mistakes included falling in love with a friend, or at the very least, letting hormones and sexual tension take over and complicate a great friendship.
Fortunately, there’s this thing I call the “back to friendship” process.
Here’s the step by step:
- After breaking up, do not delete his number like you said you would. (variation: if you don’t want to see his number on your phone, write it on a piece of paper with his name and stash it inside an old handbag)
- Give it a year. Start counting when he stops calling (or you stop calling)
- Call or send a message and ask him how he is doing
- If he doesn’t want to talk, don’t force the issue. (well, at least you tried,right?)
- Do not meet up with your ex without getting a facial, a proper hairstyle and a sassy outfit first
- Do not consume alcohol on your platonic date, and meet up in a public place.
Yep, platonic friendship is possible between ex lovers.
The best part of it is that he knows a lot about you and he is in the best position to give constructive, tough love advice about your love troubles. If all is well (translation: he’s over you and vice versa), you can start communicating again, talking about your current love situations and even talking about your failed relationship. Come to think of it, you can even start a business (or a blog… heh) together!
Life is just too short to forget about people who we really connected with. Even if it’s just friendship, at least you keep those who are worth keeping.
Thoughts About Ex’s
1. The best thing about ex’s is that they cannot hurt you anymore. Soon, the bad memories die and the good remain…
2. They made you happy at one point and even more than that, they made you feel special…
3. When I think about ‘the one that got away’, I cannot help but wonder what he’s up to….
4. Thinking about your ex does not mean you’re dissatisfied with your current relationship, it simply means you are reminiscing about a past bittersweet experience that taught you a valuable lesson about loving someone…
Recommendation: If you really want to save your relationship and make him fall in love again, click here for some expert relationship tips.
A message from an ex:
“Do you talk about me on your blog?”
“If you subscribe, maybe I will.”
You Are A Friendly Ex |
 You and your ex are just friends – great friends really. (At least that’s what you keep telling yourself!) While civility is a good thing, make sure you’re not secretly wanting more… |
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9 Responses to “Befriending Your Ex: Connecting With the One that Got Away”
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It’s true. Sex can ruin a platonic friendship, and it’s hard to get that back. (That said, some people can seem to have sex and still be friends at the same time! They’re rare, though.)
I think the best policy is to just not get physical with your good friends in the first place. Might take a lot of discipline, but it makes things a lot better in the long run. Good friends are hard to find, after all …
@Matt
Pretty difficult to maintain a platonic attitude in the face of all the talk about “friends with benefits”
But yeah, sex between real friends should be a no-no
is it possible to be friends with someone was was your “never was,” though?
dr_clairebear’s last blog post..Taking It Outside
@claire
“never was” has it’s subcategories too… “almost but not quite”, “he’s my boyfriend (but he doesnt know about it)” and “potentially plutonic”. :heh:
Talking to my exes can be therapeutic and unnerving for me. I mean they know me better than I know myself, but talking to them reminds me of the reasons why we broke up in the first place.
Ade’s last blog post..Caption Contest (Because I’m Out Of Ideas)
@Ade
Whoa! They make no effort to “impress” you and show “eat-your-heart-out” behavior?
hmmm… if that’s the way it is, they fall under different categories then.
i have a loooong list.
dr_clairebear’s last blog post..Taking It Outside
@woobie
I think they do, but a long conversation brings their nasty side out.
Ade’s last blog post..Bugsy The Talking Bunny
Hah, the “Message from an Ex” part made me grin, good way to end the article.
Talking to ex’s is different than talking to normal people. It opens up new worlds of possibilities, and you can get some really valuable, honest feedback on yourself.
While I’m sure many ex’s will lie or stretch the truth… there are bits of honesty in their words that you’ll never hear anywhere else.
That being said, being friends with Ex’s is like spices… they can taste great in moderation, but have too much and you’ll get burned!
Chris Calo’s last blog post..How to Be the Man Women Desire