Goodbye IYS: Internet Killed Snail Mail Dating
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Though I admit that I have not sent a snail mail message to anyone in the past 5 years, I was aghast when someone who passed by my penfriends post told me that IYS closed down last June 2008 after almost 60 years of life. Here’s what they wrote on their site
“The internet has lead to a situation where sending ordinary letters is old-fashioned. Letter writing, once very popular, is now a hobby of a few. We have come to the end of a certain period. As we can not find enough young people interested in penfriendship any more, we have decided to close down this firm by 30th June 2008.”
Besides guilt, I felt inexplicable sadness that the company that made me the way I am now is gone.
In fact, a whole era of TRUST is gone… as most would rather keep online profiles using pseudonyms and code names rather than sincerely write a friend abroad in real ink. I, myself, have never given out my real address to anyone who I felt close to online, except a friend in Japan who sent me a very cute humping doggy toy.
As a tribute to IYS, let me list the lessons I learned from corresponding with people from different countries during my formative years.
1. No Stereotypes – I hear those jokes that people crack daily about people of other races and I shudder inwardly. Color or race means nothing when it comes to speaking the three universal languages: Mathematics, Love and Friendship.
2. Self Expression – It’s fairly easy to demonstrate how to do something nowadays through video, cam chat and youtube, but during the time when we had to make do with only polaroid photos and scented paper, we expressed ourselves a lot better.
Making someone see your ‘other worldy’ environment by describing your experiences in vivid detail will make you a better writer. Before the phrase “that’s funny” was replaced by ‘LOL’, I felt more emotion while writing to friends abroad than I do now.
3. Fascination with Culture and Languages – A lot of the letters I wrote contained Filipino language tutorials. I loved teaching others about my culture and what makes Filipinos unique.
When you learn how to connect with someone without regard for material wealth and physical attributes, you will realize that there’s not much different between people, even when one lives in a remote island and the other lives in the richest country in the world.
I had so much fun connecting with young people like me then that I planned on enrolling my own son to the program when he turns ten. Sadly, that will no longer be possible.
Goodbye, IYS.
9 Comments
October 25th, 2008 at 2:14 am
I remember having penpals but I had never heard of IYS; regardless though I can relate. I still send cards and letters every now and then but its no where near what I used to. *sigh* a sad day indeed
fragileheart’s last blog post..Flickr Friday: Pink roses
October 25th, 2008 at 8:35 am
It’s just too easy to do it via email. And of course, the dangers of sending addresses over the net… it’s the price of technology, i guess
October 25th, 2008 at 8:58 am
We were always discouraged from having pen-friends.
We were always told that, one day, they would turn up on your doorstep looking to stay…
:)
super post.
Ken Armstrong’s last blog post..Are You the Internet’s Next Top Monster?
October 25th, 2008 at 6:30 pm
@Ken
Wow, that notion is so romantic. So apt for those who are looking to find true love through penfriendship and online dating. Thank you for the insight!
:lv:
October 26th, 2008 at 6:18 pm
I had a penpal once in elementary school and I must say that it was a great learning experience both with my writing ability and the cultural experience. Although, you could also say that the Internet has vastly improved upon this system. The ease of accessing and writing through many different online medium is far more easier than writing in mailing a letter.
Although, I would say that given that nobody sends letters anymore, the thought of receiving a letter from an admirer would certainly stand out as genuinely romantic.
Matt’s last blog post..YouTube PlentyofFish Dating Rant
October 27th, 2008 at 4:17 pm
Matt,
Oh yeah, the internet has improved the system a lot, and people have learned to be more careful.
Thanks for the input!
January 26th, 2009 at 10:45 pm
I was also very sorry to hear of the closure of IYS. It is the end of an era. I have been writing to pen friends since I was 10 years old (38 years of writing!). While I never did join IYS, I did join International Pen Friends (IPF), which was founded in 1967 and based in Ireland. I loved, and still love, receiving letters in the mail. I’ve travelled the world and met many of my pen friends. In 2001, I took over International Pen Friends, and brought the Head Office to Australia. School classes join, individuals aged from 8-80+ join. Letter writing is still a lot of fun – and a great way to learn about the world and make friends.
June 13th, 2009 at 8:19 pm
I’m from Spain and thanks for iYS, I met and turkish penpal 14 years ago.
Now, until we live too far away from each other, she’s one of my best friends. Two years ago I went to Turkey to met her and it was the best experience I’ve ever had.
Thanks a lot IYS.
June 15th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
My first penpal was from Israel in 1968-69.
I was a 15-year-old German schoolgirl. He was 16 and told me about politics, the war in Israel. I still have his letters and remember how important this correspondence was for both of us.
Years later, as an English teacher in my German little town I motivated a few hundred students over the years to start penpal correspondences all over the world. But I and my students realized that email contacts were easier and cost free. Often they did not get any letters back, or they stopped writing themselves.
Why couldn’t IYS change their policy to email friendships? Very sad.