Single Woman Seeks Single Man: The Truth About “You Complete Me”
One of my ramblings-turned-posts, which I wrote during 2005, struck a chord in someone who’s going through the exact same thing. Here’s a part of Sabrina’s comment on my post “Panic Mode: Still Single at Late 20s” which struck me the most.
“I don’t really talk to my anyone about this because I want to seem independent and strong, but I am really not. I would like a relationship, but I don’t want to be in one now since I do not want to be in a relationship for the “wrong reasons”. I need to be strong enough without a boyfriend…”
This post is for all single women who are in panic mode, like I was before I learned the truth about self love.
When the whole of single girldom watched Jerry Maguire years ago, everyone was able to relate to the phrase “You Complete Me”. It’s what we believe in… that there is someone in the world who holds a piece of us; and we become complete when we find that person. However, our mistakes in dating stem from the misconception that we can ONLY be whole when we are with another person.
The truth is that there is NO ONE else who will complete you but yourself.
Self love. Self esteem. Self worth. These are words that describe a phase in our lives when we do things for ourselves, and learn from the mistakes that we make. During the single life, you become whole. And you remain whole until you decide to give a piece of yourself to another person.
- Instead of “You complete me”, say this: “You complete me because you now have something of me that I personally handed to you.”
You must only enter a relationship when you have a clear idea of who you are and what you can do. Rushing inside a relationship when you are not “whole” yet will make you eternally dependent on another person to keep filling a void inside you that you didn’t suffuse yet with self love.
When you’re ready, break off a piece of you (the proverbial ‘heart’) and give it to someone who will take care of it. In this sense, you are telling this guy that you love him enough to share a part of yourself with him, even when you both know that you are well enough on your own, even without him.
Do not be that girl who clings desperately to a guy or a rut relationship just because she feels incomplete without a boyfriend.
- Fill your cup of self love to overflowing, and soon someone (everyone) will want to share that cup with you.
Guys have a way of telling women that they are ready to commit: their selection criteria change a bit. Sure they still want chemistry, sexual compatibility and such, but more than that… they look for women who can hold their own in any situation. Yes, men want strong women because they know that they cannot be strong all the time.
You can be all girly and emotional all you want (and cry buckets over a silly girl flick like Jerry Maguire, or this post) but your strength is in your core… that part of you that won’t fade even when all the skin care products in the world can no longer sustain the outer beauty.
Make yourself the prize that a man would want to win.
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10 Responses to “Single Woman Seeks Single Man: The Truth About “You Complete Me””
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amen to that, sis!
i think this has been my lament all of my life, but i’m just beginning to learn the lesson. it’s a cliche that everything happens for a reason, but i believe it – and that all the events in my life so far have led me to where i am today… a happy place to be.
i love being single. i love the joy of the possibilities, and only having to answer to myself.
i don’t deny that i do dream of having someone and a family with that someone some day, but i am so happy i had the chance to do this on-my-own thing and discover that i can be this person – strong, independent, and ready to take on anything. achievements aside, looks aside, and relationship-status aside, i know i’ll always have that under my belt and it is an accomplishment i will always be proud of.
dr_clairebear’s last blog post..Confessions of an Unreformed Sweet Tooth
@claire
I am so proud of you too! I keep saying “it won’t be long” all the time on your blog or mine, and this is because I can see that you’re already there, finding your place and loving your single life a lot… love is so like a set of keys sis, if you don’t look too hard for it, it will come. Keep it up sis! You’re definitely a prize
All the best!
I hate it when people say “he/she is my everything”. Come on people, leave some love for yourselves!
Ade’s last blog post..Links for 2008-10-21 [del.icio.us]
@ade
“I’ll die if he leaves!”
lol
[Fill your cup of self love to overflowing, and soon someone (everyone) will want to share that cup with you.]
This line reminds me of a book that I read recently.
Deimos Tel`Arin’s last blog post..Zombie Horde 3 – Download
hi, woobie! i recently linked this post to something i wrote on my blog.
hehehe. if you have time, check it out. it’s the link that commentluv will leave after this post. 
thanks for the good vibes, always! from your keyboard to God’s ear.
dr_clairebear’s last blog post..Coming into Her Own
This is a great post and I can totally relate to it. I have friends and girls that used to date that are getting married one by one. Even if they said that they’re still single a week ago.
I am not a dating expert as I will leave that to woobie. But if the ladies are having a hard time finding a guy, my opinion as a guy might be something worth to you. We love strong women as evil woobie said. But not like spice girls kind of women that act like men. Nor Bitchy girls etc. Try to watch films from the 80’s. See how women behave. I always think that where those women went. As if they were gone. Just like women like to think that great men are gone.
Which is true. But I wont dwell on that.
First start within. If I want a girl like Angelina Jolie. I must become a Brad Pitt. Go to the gym, dress well, blonde my hair perhaps? Same goes for women, you want a Brad Pitt in your life? Enhance yourself to become an Angelina Jolie. It all starts from within as woobie said.
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Online dating is really fun! And thank you for this information