Sexual Tension: How to Fan the Flame of Attraction
By
Attraction could translate as ‘crush’ or ‘extreme liking’. Some define it as love or being in love. Nonetheless, the best and most vague way to define it is this:
The person incites a feeling in you
that you cannot even begin to explain,
but you don’t complain
because you actually like that weird, crazy feeling.
Sexual tension is something that happens when two people who share a mutual attraction for each other play the game of “signs”. Simply put, one does something then wait for a reaction from the other. This could go on and on without direction, until
- both take the first step towards a more intimate relationship, Or
- lose interest because of the lack of a real opening.
Building Sexual Tension
Sexual Tension does not always lead to sex. In fact, it shouldn’t (at least not yet). What it will do is foster intimacy, make the other person think of you in a way that is more than ‘just friends’. This concept is quite similar to how a successful salesman made it; it involves a series of steps that will eventually lead to the point of sale… the bottleneck where someone chooses only between “yes” and “no”. One creates sexual tension by…Flirting with a Purpose
Some flirt to show appreciation (like guys would when they meet women they want to hook up with), some do it to simply prove they can generate attraction, but building sexual tension by flirting is quite different. Underneath the eye contact, body language and the sweet talking is the underlying message: “know me more” and “be with me longer”. Some instances when two people can build sexual tension include sexy phone conversations, online chat sessions, watching a sultry sunset (or a movie) together and a very romantic dinner date.
What happens when Sexual Tension builds between friends?
Fostering intimacy between friends could aid the friendship-love transition, or it could simply result in a much stronger bond between the two individuals. Once sexual tension is released, through intimacy or passion, both will know what exactly they are to each other. They could still go their separate ways but they both realize that they will never have to live their lives guessing…
“What could have happened if we encouraged that attraction instead of ignoring it like it didn’t exist?”
I wrote more about this topic over at Bobby and Mike’s blog, The Seduction Bible.
Learning about sexual tension is useful if…
- you want to know more about how to make your guy fall for you.
- you want to learn how to use sexual tension to revive your dying relationship
- you want to be the man who attracts women and make them fall in love for good
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7 Comments
July 29th, 2008 at 8:32 pm
What I struggle with is developing sexual tension outside of the bedroom, and then when it is done in the bedroom it does lead quickly to sex. I would like to learn how to be better at establishing it earlier.
Peter Answers’s last blog post..Numerology – Your Future by Numbers
July 30th, 2008 at 7:07 am
Oh dear, now I see all along how I’m guilty of building sexual tension in you without giving you any chance to release it. From now on I’ll try to be a little less arousing in my conversation. No more love poetry for you.
Turnip’s last blog post..Performancing Ads vs Entrecard
July 30th, 2008 at 8:35 am
@peter
the world outside the bedroom isnt much different from that inside it… you do have to wear clothes though.
@turnip
wow. that’s considerate.
August 1st, 2008 at 12:29 am
Sexual tension between friends can be deadly……..but sometimes good if they both get over there fears……anyway I love your site, just want to leave a kiss, would LOVE to link exchange
“A Phone Sex Life” with you, please email me and let me know!
Phone Girl’s last blog post..What would your wife say?
August 3rd, 2008 at 10:49 am
Sexual Tension, hmmm. Iyan ang dahilan kung bakit nademanda si Lolit Solis. Hindi ba’t nagbubulungan sina S at P?
August 9th, 2008 at 9:03 pm
But, woobie, I think the bigger problem here is how can you tell if what you have is really chemistry and not just some sort of paranoid delusion brought about by a) overblown sense of self, b) projecting your feelings onto the other person?
I ask because I have had so many disasters in the past borne of reading signals the wrong way, that I have resolved to no longer try to read them at all.
When would it be wise to leave it alone and ignore it versus when would it be worth it to bite the bullet and really find out what’s out there?
(And, yes, I need this advice for a current problem. 
))
dr_clairebear’s last blog post..The More Things Change…
August 9th, 2008 at 9:38 pm
@claire
I know exactly what you mean, and yes all my failed relationships in the past (those that actually started and those that didn’t) were all because of an overblown sense of self (mine).
Until one guy actually came up to me and asked me a question (which I still mull over til now), and it’s this: Why must everything be about you? Your feelings, Your expectations, Your needs, Your… Your… Your.. Your RELATIONSHIP!”
It prompted me to STFU and just smile and observe when a guy is making a move. I stopped taking whatever he is saying at face value and concentrated on the fact that he is actually saying something or doing something FOR me.
Oh, and claire, it is best that you don’t tell your girlfriendssss (one best friend to tell s’ok) about a new potential boyfriend, his background, what he TOLD you already…. particularly if they are as over-analysing as you are.
You have to give each relationship prospect a try, sis. And, regardless of what people say about passionate love at first sight, consistency over time is the scientific way of finding out if something works. gets?