Mommy, as I call her, died tonight at 9.25 pm. I remember sitting stunned in front of the PC for 5 whole minutes not really digesting the news after my sister called me from the hospital.

I have mixed feelings about her death. First is the overwhelming sadness that I will never be able to communicate with her directly again. Second is contentment, that she lived a full life and I was a part of it. Third is nostalgia, as I realize that most of what I know to be true, I learned from her.

When I lived in La Union during my childhood, I learned not to worry too much when storms brewed around the Pacific Ocean. Mommy told me that however hard the storm hits the eastern side of the country, it will always be lighter in our side. The Sierra Madre and the Cordillera mountains stand between us and the pacific rim of the Philippines, and they will always shield us from the strength of the storm. True enough, the storm suddenly weakens to signal number 1 when it reaches our side. I should fear, she said, when the storm comes from the China Sea, as we will definitely be the first to be affected.

She taught me that expressing myself is the most important thing.
That the way people convey their feelings
will always be the first thing that will grab attention.
Language is a very powerful tool, she said.
If you master the art of speaking,
you are master of everything.

Ghosts and apparitions are products of the power of suggestion.
She said that while spirits and souls exist,
those we call ghosts that appear out of nowhere
are most likely the fruits of delusions.
This had me laughing through my tears awhile back.
I thought that she is probably around me right now but won’t show herself
just because this was the mantra that she kept telling us, whenever we got scared.

No information is useless.
Mommy herself was proof that stock knowledge
will continue to sustain you throughout your life.
You pick up small bits and pieces of information
that may stand on their own, and be either truths or fallacies;
or be parts of a greater truth,
one you don’t know yet but may do so in the future.

Being thrifty is the best way to live.
She taught me how to save up for something,
even if I had no idea what that something will be yet.
Just save what you can for that extra special thing
that you may need to have in the future.

The basic concept of being the kuripot ilokano. Self-denial of immediate pleasure or contentment so you may be happy in the future.

If you comb your hair all the time, you won’t need to comb it as much when you come out of the shower. She always had so many nice pins for her hair, and I always thought she was a natural curly-haired woman.

If you still have food, don’t buy more. This was another golden rule of Mommy that helped me during my college years. Prioritizing my spendings did not always include food, why? Well, because I still have some. I have never said no to any kind of edible thing, just because food is food. She taught me that.

Senility is a choice, not a natural occurrence.
She was 92 when she died, and there is no way I could ever call her senile.

Up until her last day on earth, she was able to out-answer every single one of the contestants of the trivia game shows in ABS-CBN she loved so much. Since her retirement until few months before her operation this year, she played neighborhood mahjong and always won something extra for her efforts. She memorized and remembered every single Jueteng combination she bet on. She has always said that a person of any age will become senile only if he/she got tired of learning and knowledge maintenance.

She was the ultimate Leo woman,

Kind-hearted to the deserving, condescending to those who do not give any effort at all. My greatest dream when I was younger was to make her proud by bringing home the bacon every honor assembly. I made her proud by getting into the University of the Philippines, and even more so by graduating in UP. Her approval was as important to me as my own life, and I will never regret the sacrifices I made to make her even more proud of me.

She taught 4 grandchildren how to read and write.
She imparted her extensive knowledge of history and geography to us.
She made me read my school books even during the weekends.
Most of all, she made me read anything I got my hands on; newspapers, labels, comics, post signs, bills and magazines.

A Poem for Lola

You were my lighthouse,
My ally, my partner-in-crime…
You were my bestfriend.
I miss you already, Mommy.

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