Guy Friends to Boyfriends: What About Lasting Friendships?

You know the age-old adage about not crapping in your own backyard? If you love your sanity and future peace of mind, heed that advice.

Officemates, classmates, FOAFs (friend of a friend), neighbors and organization-mates… These should all be off-limits in your hunting agenda. You will continue to associate with these people even after the game is over. Baptismals, weddings, funerals and simple business meetings or holiday events… he/she will always be there, looking at you (or pretending not to see you, depending on how it ended). If you’re not a big fan of awkwardness, research your Facebook list first before going for the kill. Or else, you could be dodging glances for the rest of your life, or wondering which of your friends she/he told… Worse yet, could he/she be planning revenge?

Another consequence could be jealousy. Yes, I know you played that person the best way you know, but hey, being human means falling in love sometimes. Even if it IS someone you did not plan on taking seriously. Think of how irritating it could be when this girl or guy that you were particularly fond of (but had to break up with for a number of reasons) suddenly parades a new beau in front of you.

Do NOT play your friends, period.

If however, the damage is done, simple but effective means of minimizing awkwardness could be utilized. These could also save the good ones… those who turn out to be great finds, but willl probably hate you forever for what you did.

1. You have to explain to that person why you played her/him, provided he/she has already forgiven you. Tell him/her that you did not mean to hurt anyone, and it was all about you, not him/her. That latter thing is cliche and will probably earn you a slap if you’re a guy, and a snort if you’re a girl.

2. Be true, show the real you… Whatever side of your personality you showed during the time that you were together, insist that he/she give you a clean slate this time around. And, for the love of God, don’t draw BS on that slate again!

3. Apologize… So now he/she knows the real you, and your reasons for doing the things you did. It’s time to say “I’m sorry”.

You will never really know who really forgave you, and who are just pretending. After all, they could be playing their own game too. In the instance that you become too paranoid to trust their “it’s ok” response to your sincere apology, it’s time to prepare for a possible backstabbing in the future. It’s always nice to trust the innate goodness of Man and potential for forgiveness, though.

Remember that secret enemies are an occupational hazard for players of The Game. ^_^

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Falling in Love Signs

with a friend or a stranger.