My parents went away for a while during a transitional time in my life. I got to thinking of how my parents gave a lot of themselves to me and my siblings. It makes me feel very happy to see them enjoy their life together, not as parents to us but as a middle age couple who finished their obligations early…

I feel indirectly responsible for their newfound enjoyment of the middle-age life. If I had not sacrificed as much when I was in my “rebel” years, If i made a few missteps and stupid decisions, If I did not for once think of my future…. they might still be breaking their backs supporting me and my siblings. Now they still support us a lot… but the kind of support that requires only their hearts and the spirits, not necessarily their wallets.

Woobie at 20years old. Graduation pic

The burden of being first born was hardest to bear during the time when each of us was testing his/her wings. I did not want my siblings to make me an excuse for rash choices that they might make (”e baket si ate ganito… ganun…”). I know siblings, like lemmings, they follow suit with whatever the firstborn does, subconciously making a role model of an older sister or brother. It was particularly hard for me because i know that i am and will always be a dreamer… I do not claim to be very smart, my ambition is not that high… I just want to be happy… and it takes so little to make me so. I guess the most valuable thing that i provided for my family was “inspiration”… maybe they saw through me… that my “know-it-all” attitude was just a cover up for a side of me that wants to just live each day like it’s the last…

It’s funny how families are… It’s funnier how we regard our parents as equals when we grow older… and it’s most heart-warming how we exchange a look with our parents that says “yes, we did well…”

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